Affirmative action on The Biggest Looser

There is a game of sorts that old school Navy folks played as part of their training when the advanced to senior enlisted ranks. They are assigned what is called an egg division. A division being a group of Sailors that would be assigned under this senior Sailor. Some divisions could be as big as 50 or more and others small with 5 or 6 people. The Sailor in training is given a dozen eggs (or some other item like a 12 GI Joe figures, or rocks anything really) but the name "egg division" is widely understood. So the idea is to have the Sailor undergoing training come up with an appropriate division, they have to create records for each of their "Eggs" having the appropriate number of males, females, black, white, asian, junior, and senior ranks ect. There is a purpose to get the Sailor thinking about the wide range of backgrounds his (or her) Sailors will have when he (or she) becomes their boss. While constructing these "egg divisions" creativity is reward, but the important thing is to have the proper make up, having the right percentage of females, males, etc… of course to take it to the extreme you might have someone that will have a black-jewish-female-with a handicap to cover down on at least multiple minority groups. So today while walking the dog I was somehow reminded of that exercise when something hit me.

A couple of weeks ago Bob, one of the trainers on The Biggest Looser "came out" - if you will - on TV. Of course it was no secret that Bob was either gay, or at least was allergic to women parts. But having Bob come out officially now puts two of the three trainers in the gay column or three of the four permanent cast members (when you count Alison Sweeny which I ALWAYS do). So what is the make up of the cast without sexual affiliation? 50% of the permanent cast is female (the other 50% would then be male for those counting at home), this matches the same percentage of the population, and Dolvett the third trainer is black, (the other three are white so 25% of the staff is so called minority) - no asians or hispanics, you kind of have a fair makeup of the country as a whole, since about 15% of the population is black another 10-12% is hispanic and so on… I can sympathize with certain minority groups that have made the observation in the past that when they watch TV they do not see themselves represented. I do not think that case can be made today. Most TV and an increasingly amount of movies are casting to make the population of the shows (or movies) look like real life America. But what has me wondering, can the straight people now complain that when they watch The Biggest Loser they do not see themselves reflected?  Since there is no way 50% of the people in this country are gay. Does the Biggest Looser need to fire one of the gay trainers and replace with an hispanic straight trainer?

I am not really suggesting that any protests or personnel changes be actually planned. I don't care about Bob or Jullian's sexuality and other than the fact I am disappointed that Julian is not on the market for straight males - like I would have had a chance; I am really indifferent to who or what they run around the house with during naked wednesdays.

Here is my internal drama. A few times in the last couple of weeks I have had friends on Facebook post some LBGT (or other similar groups) links about gay friendly companies or gay not friendly companies or whatever. I keep seeing Chick Fil A is the devil and everyone of them should be burned down, or other companies should be banned since they do not offer vacation to people that want time off to marry their cats or something. This is where I get really pissed off in my head. I enjoy George Takai's daily Facebook posts that make me laugh or think about interesting things. I know who he is because he was on Star Trek, but respect him for his work on recognizing and educating about the Japanese that were interned during WWII and is passionate about his other causes. One of those causes happens to be related to LBGT communities and that is cool, I don't partake but love that he is using his celebrity and fame to do good things for a lot of people. I also respect and enjoy some conservative leaders and organizations who will continue to advocate for family values which they feel means being straight. I don't really give a steaming pile on either side of the fight but when someone actually goes out of the way to destroy a whole company or shut down a movie or golf course or whatever because one person at the top of a company has a personal opinion that does not meet their own. I do not have any plans on not laughing at Mr. Takei's posts on Facebook.

So Chick Fil A is evil and Starbucks is apparently good since they have pro-gay policies. Ironically a few days ago I stopped by both places within a couple hours of each other, then I came home and watched The Biggest Looser. Guess I am going to be stuck in purgatory for a long time no matter which side all of this God is on.

Three strikes and you are out

There is a lot of talk about term limits for politicians. I can understand the argument. Pro sports coaches, CEOs, even news anchors don't remain in their position forever. Each of these jobs have to stay at the top of their field. If they fail eventually they are removed or fired and someone new is brought in. Take NFL teams, how often does a head couch get to stick around after back to back losing seasons? Sometimes a second or third chance may be given while the team is rebuilt and a new quarter back is found and developed, or a star linebacker is brought on, but after a sufficient amount of time, if the record does not improve then the leadership is removed.

CEOs step down or are fired when companies start to loose money or market position so that a new leader can be brought in and take the company in a new direction, when ideas get stale a fresh perspective is needed.

Why is government not held to the same standards? You can argue that it is. The President is limited to two terms. The President has to only run for re-election once, after that he is done. With a four year term this allows enough time for some longer term planning, prioritization of what policies the President think he was elected to enact but not so much time that he gets complacent and even worn down. Often if a President is reelected much of the staff is shuffled. Many of the cabinet members resign to allow for someone else to come in and take the helm providing the administration with some fresh perspective.

What about the legislative branch? Why is there no term limit? If there was term limits what would be fair? A term in the Senate is six years in the house two years. Each two years the entire house is up for election and a third of the Senate. In the House and Senate there are at least 15 members (out of 535) that have served for over 35 years. The longest in the House being John Dingell for almost 58 years. Just take a second. That means ol Johnny boy has had to make promises to get reelected 29 times.

However, this is not an honest off the cuff rant. I did check somethings before I sat down to write this. The average number of years that the members of the House and Senate have served has actually increased over the past five decades (so we must be even happier with their work than ever before). The median tenure for a House member has been around five-two-year terms and for a Senator has been about two-six year terms.


Prior to reading those facts I had a conversation in my head while walking the dog earlier, and I came to the totally unscientific conclusion that two terms for a Senator should be enough and somewhere between four to six terms the limit for a House member would be equally sufficient (corresponding to the eight year term limit of the President and my suggested 12 year term limit of the Senate). I figure that we want some experience otherwise if we limited terms too much on the House then we could actually see too much turnover and there would be no seniority, that is not conducive to getting some things done. You do need experience. But having 20 or 30 terms might be too much. Also there is some merit to having to run for reelection. So allowing at least one reelection in the Senate can help motivate a little. BUT LETS NOT STOP THERE! Since it is a longer term, and there are some serious responsibilities for the Senate, not the least of which is confirmation of all Court and Cabinet appointees, each Senator should have served at least One term in the House or have served in one of the state legislators, or as a state governor. This may seem to contradict what I am trying to eliminate, which would be cronyism and career politicians. What I am really suggesting is that the House should be more of a peoples house, where non-career positions thrive, keeping a good turnover either from outside contenders or strong term limits and for those that have more to offer can move up to the Senate but if they make it that far the are limited to two terms.

A lot of people say that Congress makes too much money. That may be true, but consider they do not have their own jobs, that it take a lot of money and sacrifice to be elected, and that we actually want these people to NOT be tempted by others with deep pockets. What I do not understand is the lifetime checks they get once they are out of office and many of the other benefits. I think that they should have a retirement system much like government employees - since that is what they are. Do it like the military, if they serve out their entire time (max out their terms) then they are eligible for 50% of their base pay (does not include benefits). Just like in the current military even if someone wants to stick around and are only doing mediocre work (or in some cases are doing outstanding work but the position they fill is overmanned) they are not allowed to re-enlist. Consider a reelection much like this reenlistment. If they do not get the go ahead from the voters to go one more term, then they are out of their pension.

I have a lot of respect for those sitting up on Capitol Hill in DC. But I don't understand how some of them, well actually most of them, have this sense of entitlement. There are much smarter people out there that would do well if they could get elected, but why should they? Blow your family savings, make a bunch of back room promises, and finally make it to the hill and have to wait out senior members that have been there since the great depression since they have the seniority.

George Washington and all his immediate successors informally set term limits for the presidency, few Presidents even attempted to run for a third term, although a few tried. FDR was the first and only president to succeed and soon after he won his fourth term (and then died shortly after), it was Republican Governor to New York Thomas Dewy that suggested a constitutional amendment to limit terms of the President. So even after only ONE president took the liberty to stay around further than any other, the country made sure it could not happen again. We have been sitting too long waiting for someone to do the same for Congress. Even though the median tenure is about what I am suggesting for term limits, there are those that have gone on far too long and gotten too comfortable.

Star Wars has a date before I do - WTF?

Today, only a few hours ago, I got hit up by Text, FB post, and email all within a few minutes of each other with the news. Star Wars is going to be released on 18 December 2015.

Ok here comes the pessimist in me. First of all before I bring a dark cloud over the subject, I am happy to have a date to look forward to, I am equally happy of any new SW content. However, there are a few external things that make up Star Wars for me and many others.

Each Star Wars movie (all six) have opened in May. Star Wars on 25 May (1977), The Empire Strikes Back 21 May (1980), and back on 25 May (1983) for the Return of the Jedi. The next three: The Phantom Menace, The Attack of the Clones, and The Revenge of the Sith released on May 19th, 16th, and the 19th again, respectively. Also there is May the 4th a recognized holiday in Geekdom - May the 4th as in May the 4th (Force) be with you. So May is the month all Star Wars movies should be released in. I am not saying just because something always was, should continue to be, but I am a believer on what is not broken does not need to be fixed. So already huge hit in my disappointed meter on a December release date. Right now the date seems to be a compromise between Lucasfilm, JJ Abrams, and Disney. Rumor is that Kathleen Kennedy from Lucasfilm (George Lucas' replacement at the helm of all things SW) wanted more time. As producer that would be her key concern. Time and money. The faster they try to push the next movie out the higher the cost. She likely was pushing for a later date than Disney had been advertising. Disney on their part wanted to push it out in Summer 2015. Right now that is a very crowded calendar for big budget movies including Disneys' other super franchise - the Marvel Avengers. Christmas time is still jammed up with a new Bond film, the third installment of the Hobbit series and the next Hunger Games film.

The 20th Centrury Fox opening. You know the one. I get it Disney is the new owner, and well, they are simply not going to let another studio throw up their logo. There is no commercial, financial, or legal reason to do so. But it is a shame that the 20th Century fanfare will not be the opening salvo in the new SW trilogy. I can concede this one since it just makes sense. However i have heard one SW podcaster suggest that maybe Disney and 20th Century Fox could work out some distribution agreement based on the two previous trilogies. There will be a time when Disney wants to repackage and release a monster all inclusive nine movie set including all three trilogies, so to help make that deal and to keep the peace there "could" be a partnership and if so then we could see the fanfare we all know and love.

Currently I am still not satisfied with the casting. What should be a given is still not confirmed. I want to see Billy Dee Williams (Lando), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) and Anthony Daniels (C3PO) on the casting tab over on IMDB. There is no reason that these three cannot be written into any story that is being worked over, even for a quick cameo. Star Wars is not just the big three, it has to be the so called tier two characters as well.

Ok so what else can I bitch about? Right? This is like someone wining the lotto and complaining that it was only a two million dollar jackpot. Well Lynda Carter is on Two and A Half Men right now, and well she is still HOT so I am done for now

God is causing global warming…

No I am not trying to race bait, nor am I tying to get liberal environmental wackos and bible thumpers to combine together and agree to hate me (for totally opposing reasons). I just connected the dots.

1. God flooded the earth. Whether you believe in the actual flood where Noah filled a titanic-sized wooden boat with two of each kind of animal and his kids (wonder if he only took two of them as well…) and floated around for 40 days (and nights) …so you either believe in the Bible version or the evolutionary version. There is solid scientific fact that the Earth has flooded. The ice caps have grown and retracted through ice ages and periods of warming. There are fossils of sea creatures in the Sahara and evidence of cites under water in the Mediterranean and Caribbean. The point is that Earth has flooded before.

2.  God flooded the earth. God hawked a loogie at the Earth and flooded it to purge the population of their wicked ways….oh speaking of purging. Did you see the movie – “The Purge”? I just watched it last night from Netflix. That is a whole new subject and I won’t go into it now, but I just found out that they are going to make a sequel. Not bad for a movie that was based on a Star Trek episode from the 60s. So the people of earth were up to no good. Worshiping cows (McDonalds anyone?) Into all sorts of debauchery (reality TV??) and doing all sorts of other things that I am too lazy to look up on Google. Again if you don’t believe in the God option, how about that the Earth is one big organism and like all good organisms, if it is sick or some parasite is bothering it, then it takes some Advil or maybe penicillin to chase away the virus. So if we are the Eustrongylides ignotus then maybe the Earth tried a few earth quakes, the plague, AIDS, and said, screw this – “Go Big or Go Home” and is going to melt the caps and drown us all. I bet you non-God believers start praying then, haha…

3. God may have created the Earth in seven days, but God’s days have got to be longer than ours. So maybe God stepped out and turned off the AC to save a few bucks on the next electric bill. So even if it is a short trip for God it could be years, decades or centuries for us. So better invest in some water wings and take sailing lessons because either its God’s will or the Earth is calling the shots, either way who you going to call?

Movie House Rules

So I have been holed up for a few weeks taking on new projects. A new dog, starting new graduate classes and I bought some new socks.

So basically there has been a lot going on. I finally found time and energy to venture out into the world and go see a movie, visit my local haberdashery and the Starbucks to try my new favorite drink – Steamed Apple Spiced Chaj- I thought I would leave this world before ever uttering the word “divine” but that drink is nothing but. Please go out and try it, my stock portfolio will thank you.

As I mentioned, I’ve been out and about and have started to realize the world needs a new rule book. I have seen others post, blog, tweet, twit, text, yell, essayify, ponder and sky write all sorts of pet peeves over the years. But recently I saw a MyFaceSpaceBook post of a new The Oatmeal cartoon about how movies theaters should be laid out. Just click on the link above (the word Oatmeal) I will wait…

Are you done? Funny crap right? Well I realized as much as I agree with 99% of it, I was guilty of one of the infractions. I sometimes have to go to the bathroom ½ way through a movie. I blame the 30 minutes of previews that are added on and the extra large Cherry-Vanilla-Chocolate-Diet Cokes that they sell for a reasonable $21.00.

I try not to be a hypocrite. If something bothers me, I do my best to not do the same thing. So here is my pledge, I will do whatever I can, to NOT to get up during the movie to take a leak. Even if it means brining an extra empty bottle with me. I am not going to be THAT GUY.

Now that I am making some sacrifice, and in the tradition of the recent government shutdown, that reminded me of the Republican Contract With America from 1994 I am making a Movie Going Pledge. Please feel free to distribute and have your neighbors sign away their souls to me… I mean promise to be civil at the movies. My goal is to have this done nationwide by the time Star Wars Episode VII comes out in 2015.

Thou shall arrive and be seated in the theater prior to the previews starting. Some of us like to see the previews in order to plan what future movies we want to wait for on DVD. I cannot see the damn screen when your big size EXTRA Grande ass is in the way. Plus the sound of lycra swishing as you thighs rub together ruins the sound of whatever cool preview music is playing (that will eventually never make it into the actual movie).

If the theater plays more than 15 minutes of previews the above rule is voided. And everyone should write a letter to complain to the theater that the previews are messing with their urine cycle.

Get all your crinking done BEFORE the movie starts. I preferred if you do it before the previews, but if you still have not inhaled your Goobers or Raisonettes (by the way that DOES NOT count as a Weight Watcher veggie point) then open the damn box, clear away the wrapper and position it between your cleavage, legs, the seat and the armrest somewhere – ANYWHERE so that when you reach for your fix during the movie I don’t hear shresheesckkielllkeilll just as the meet cute moment is going down.

If you are old (meaning 20 years older than however old I am at the time we are both in the theater at the same time – then stay seated until the credits have run. I know your time is limited, and hey I love old folks, I just don’t want to be behind you when you are trying to get out of your seat, maneuver into the aisle and trying to feel your way out of the theater in the poor lighting. Plus I am afraid you are going to trip over a carelessly discarded straw and fall (and not be able to get back up) and I am going to have to either 1. Step over you and keep moving or 2. Perform CPR. Either way I will end up on Youtube and I am not ready for the fame. So please for your safety and my need to stay anonymous  please, please wait until the house lights turn on before trying to leave the premises.

If  there are 2 people in the theater at a matinee show on a Tuesday and you are number three, you do not need to sit anywhere near the other two. If there are four people, same rule, five, ditto, and it goes on. Basically there is NO reason to sit directly in front of, behind or within three seats to either side of another movie goer, if there is an empty seat anywhere else in the theater. This does not include the neck wrenching seats up front. I am willing to forgo the distance requirement if those are the only seats open. Plus the old people should be sitting in those anyway.

Don’t bring your kids to the movie until they can go by themselves.

Ok hear that sound? When the previews start the lights go down a little and the sound gets LOUDER. That is to let you know to stop talking. Actually I don’t know why you were talking in the first place. If you and your girlfriend, boyfriend, coworker, bestie, stylist, or pretend friend want to gossip, go to Starbucks and try one of those Apple Steamed Spice Chaj drinks. By all that is holy please shut it! If you have to talk louder then that is technology telling you to stop, you will not win.

Get your damn drinks and popcorn before you sit down. And don’t send a runner, they are eventually going to miss the first part of the movie, come in and disrupt the crowd ruining the moment just as the Bond Theme is going to play (after the opening sequence) and they are going to forget where you all sat, stomping around.

Ok there are signs, even a ad at the beginning of the movie, turn off your phone, or if it rings and anyone can hear it you have to forfeit your phone for the rest of the movie and anyone wanting to make a call to Tibet, Bangladesh, or Zimbabwe can do so.

Last one and one of the worst violations - if you are a dude don’t put your nasty bare feet, or exposed feet  up on the chair in front of you (talking to you Birkenstock wearing hippie and flippy floppy wearing preppy douchebag) . I don’t want to see it and even more I don’t want to be sitting in that seat during the next movie wondering why it smells like the jock strap of junior varsity huddler.

Allow me to introduce myself

Hello, I wanted to introduce myself. My name is wararoowruuuurrrr. I know this is hard to pronounce but I just wanted to set the record straight since this dude that I am crashing with (I just call him doooode) keeps calling me AhhhTheeenah. I usually ignore him when he calls me by that, unless of course he has treats.

I am a member of a specially trained cadre of dogs that have infiltrated the country. My specific skills include escape, evasion, and erratic zig sagging when walking on a leash. My hobbies include smelling every weed, car tire, tree, bush, candy wrapper, sewage grate, dead bird, and blade of grass....well the list goes on, Even though I have walked around this neighborhood every day for the last month I still have not smelled everything so when I am not outside I am planning on making my escape to get out and smell some more. So far I have escaped twice to go on solo recon missions but the doooode must have agents everywhere because they caught me both times. I have mastered breaking out of the small wire kennel by bending the bottom of the door frame and working it up the rail until there is enough room to get my head through, then I slide under the door and catch my collar, I work the collar loose and then shimmer my way out. I have also mastered how to slide under the fence (until the doooode blocked it with an ingenious plan) and I also learned how to open the main door. I had figured out how to turn the bolt when the doooode had the lock replaced, now no matter how much I jump up and hit the handle I can’t get out. But I have been doing my rounds I may have found another escape route.

So most of my day I sleep for about ten minuets, I pace until the doooode lets me out, then I sniff and smell until the doooode drags me back in then I go back to napping. It has been raining non-stop the last few days, I got my revenge. I made the doooode walk four miles in pouring down rain through puddles and into the wind. He thought I would be miserable and not want to go for the rest of the day  but just an hour later I was pacing at the door again.

So far the doooode has had a couple of phone interviews for a job and each time I have walked up and bumped his arm that was holding the phone or slapped his arm with my paw.  I need him to realize that I am his first priority and not anything else. This also applies to when he is on the kumpuuuter doing his homework or playing on Facebook.

I think the doooode is coming back so I better go for now, plus it has been about 10 minutes I need to go back outside and see if there is anything new to sniff.

That's racist...

I have used the term "That's Racist" for almost anything. From someone saying they don't like chick flick movies, to someone actually being racist. Usually they are just being ignorant, sexist, classist, a vegetarian, a liberal, hating on handicapped people, or just disagreeing with me. By using that phrase I am not trying to weaken the severity of someone actually being racist. I just believe that phrase and that label is thrown around too much. I have seen racism as well as sexism, and a few other "isms" and in my heart I believe I have experience it. So I do know the difference, just think it is time for us to concentrate on being united and not so damn divided.

Very few people will argue that racism is not limited to a white man using race against a black man. I am not sure if I realized this as clearly as I did earlier today. I was listening to one of the comedy channels on my Sirius satellite radio, when I caught the middle of an interview of Gabriel Iglesias. If you have not guessed it already from the name he is Latino... He was talking about not dumbing down his comedy routine.  I am going to paraphrase here since I did not record word for word what he said... He realized that too many sub-cultures in America try to make their own little world and they are not able to see the big picture. I think he cited George Lopez as one who broke out, went mainstream and was successful throughout the world. He said, having your own Emmy's, own channels, own pageants, ect.. is only going to leave you exposed to your own people. He went on to say if you were a comedian and went to Europe or Australia and did Latino specific jokes that many Americans might understand, you could bomb outright. He also said its ok to make fun of our stereotypes (much like Carlos Mencia has said over and over) but to be successful you cannot alienate the people who are NOT LIKE YOU.

Since Mr. Iglesias is among the fasted growing population of the U.S. this is an interesting perspective. He does not come out and say everyone should assimilate, and I am not sure if that would be his position, but he is saying, you can't bitch and whine about the man keeping you down and not being able to succeed if you don't at least meet in the middle. Again - my words not his, but that is kind of what I got out of it.

I have had this idea too, but being a white male I am not really allowed to have that opinion. Seriously, if I come to the defense of a George Zimmerman I am a racist, if I like Run DMC I am a wanna be, if I say one of my best friends is black (or blue or yellow, or purple) I am just patronizing. BUT to hear an Iglesias put it out there I got to thinking again.

Just a few minutes ago I was going through my news feeds, and ran across an article on one of my favorite actors. Samuel L Jackson. First of all to clarify. He is one of the few people who can make a living on having a foul mouth (or what I prefer to think as profan-poetry) yet sit down and talk on a variety of subjects and sound like he is educated on it. Maybe it is because he is and when he is acting, well he is ACTING. When not in front of a camera getting paid to be someone else he is a different person. So I was not surprised to find this article about Mr. Jackson basically sounding off that the President is "Fronting" i.e. trying to play to the masses and not being true to himself and his background. Read the article since I don't want to rehash it here. My whole point is, if someone else were to call the President out, they might be called a hater, or uncle tom, or racist ect... and I would say then that would be like me calling out someone who hates putting peanut butter on their waffles sexist...

P.S. Sidenote - here is a left leaning blog that has the same article to show I am being fair and balanced...

P.SS before you get any ideas I am copyrighting the word "profane-poetry" so please feel free to use it but give credit where due or I will sue you

Staring at a white wall for hours can get you creating wonderful music in your mind

Basically I don't think I am ever not doing anything. I mean even when I sleep apparently I am doing something. I found out a few years ago I had sleep apnea. I went at least 14 years and probably longer with getting about 30 minutes to a few hours a sleep a night. I simply was exhausted every morning and never knew why. I was apparently waking up every 10 or 15 minutes and even when not waking fully I was having "events" a few times a minute thus not allowing me to go into deep sleep. Also apparently these event were me not breathing and to wake myself I was thrashing about or tossing turning. Years went by and I wondered why I felt as if some mornings I woke feeling as if I had done a few rounds with Kimbo Slice (by the way, I linked a page of his on another site but HOW does he NOT have his own website in a world where this is taking up prime interweb real-estate?

Where was I? Oh yeah, so basically even when I am sleeping apparently I am actively doing something, in the case of my sleep apnea I was obviously trying to see if I could kill myself in my sleep most Friday and Saturday nights between 2000 and 2004. That would be the period of time I lived in Spain and tried to be the Norm Peterson of Andalusia.

I find that while driving I am either listening to a podcast and arguing along, writing notes to myself either on my phone or actually WRITING notes by hand. Of course when I am really tying to note something important and critical (like "get Rooster Sauce at the Grocery store") is the time I hit no red lights and have to try to write my note while driving with my knees... Note: Disclaimer, if any law enforcement, or potential lawyers working for someone suing me, this is a work of FICTION and in no way represents what really is going on.

Ok now that the Po-Po and Sharks are gone I can continue. Oh wait, just to be safe. Any psycho analysts, psychiatrists, psychologists, and/or Betazoids should stop reading here as well since the rest of this is just non-sense.

So back to the wall staring. In recent months I have spent a few hours (days) with time to just stare at a wall. It would be a nice refreshing experience except I find that the mind wanders and I start conjugating Spanish or Serbian verbs. Voy, Vas, Va, Vamons, Vais, Van.....from there I start thinking of jokes about Vans or thinking about the Vans Deferens from there the crazy train that my thought is riding on travels on a track that just gets just crazy from Picachu to trying to think about if Lawrence Welk had met Ozzy and if so would they have jammed together just a little? oh oh oh and if maybe Don Ho could have jumped in. What would that have sounded like???

Jump to conclusions all you want, just wait until you are at the edge of a cliff to do so...

Two things totally at first unrelated,  gave me cause to stop and think, during which time I was able to link them together. The process my mind connected the two is much like how I can argue that Miley Cyrus latest antics, even though I don't have an issue with them, has shown us how awesome Britney really is. Don't you miss her? I do...

So two things happened today and then I started pondering on them, which then resulted in a headache  so to decompress I needed to go to Starbucks and order a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino pop on some headphones pull up a little Star Wars Soundtrack and get to rambling...

The second thing first. I was just pulled over for speeding in a school zone during the hours that the light was blinking. I did not even see the light and did not realize what time it was. I DID see the cop, and I knew I had done wrong, pulled over, gave no attitude which was a huge restraint on my part and should get me a few karma points. I actually was going slower than the regular speed limit and even though was slightly distracted and not mindful of my surroundings, I was driving safely, even the cop said I was ok, but still wrong. No argument there, kind of made me realize I was probably not paying attention more than I should be more than once regularly. Maybe in an alternate time line where he did not pull me over I get into an accident and get hurt or worse destroy my car. 

While pulled over, which I might add I pulled over all the way as to not cause congestion and had the hazards on, kept the hands on the wheel, pushed my shades to the top of my head (so he could see my eyes) and turned down the music. Considering this a small price to pay and grudgingly accepting my fate, I was content to patiently wait for my ticket. Then some JACKWEASELwho was turning at the next intersection which had him coming in the opposite lane yelled out to me  "You got what you deserve" (there was a median and I was pulled onto it since I got caught in the left lane). Ok again I already said I accepted it, I even went out of my way to minimize the congestion and from where I was pulled over there was no guarantee I was actually speeding in the school zone, I may have had my engine stall or had been speeding blocks down the street.

Here is the thing That no-load JACKWAD, by yelling out and not paying attention himself to the road was endangering those around him just as much as me. Ok maybe not exactly just as much, but two wrongs and all...and what upset me more was he just jumped to a conclusion on what was going on, also for all I know he works at the local 7-11 and didn't pay his taxes this year. I don't know but I don't make that assumption about him, about who is better. I have done my part for society that I am sure of, an still do (currently for free) and can sleep at night (well actually I can't but that is just weakening my point...) I just wish I had noticed what he was driving and his plates so I could find him and follow him around. I would have waited until I had proof of a red light run, incomplete stop at a stop sign, or illegal U-turn and then had his ass. I am unemployed right now I have too much time. Oh well missed opportunities. And my point was his jumping to conclusions and how I hate assumptions. (even though he was correct, just not correct enough to yell it out)

So incident number two, which actually happened first. Early this morning someone posted a message on a Facebook page I follow for one of the local animal shelters. There was a cat stuck in a tree and had been stuck for two days making a bit of noise and the neighbors were starting to worry that is was not going to come down. I am sure that the welfare of the cat was their primary concern and not the constant mewing and possibility if the cat starved in the tree would eventually attract hyenas, vultures, and rats. Either way, once the community started their heroic Farcebook posts (oops I meant Facebook, Freudian slip) it appears the neighbors did start to care more about the plight of the cat and sacrificed by bringing their dogs in the house to keep from scarring lil Sylvester and allowing the brave FB warriors of the community to come out and stand at the base of the tree and pontificate how to get Tom (or was the cat Jerry???) down safe and sound so they could turn him over to the pound for a good gassing in 10-30 days.

So the original post: (posted around 5 in the morning)

Attention Hampton Roads area:
There is a kitten near the top of a tree on the corner of Griffin and Caroline in the West Haven area of Portsmouth, VA. He is so scared that he will not move and he has been up there for 3 days. His meowing is loud and heartbreaking. Portsmouth police department, fire department and animal control refuse to get involved. My guess is that since there is no owner, making it "just" a stray kitten no one cares. PETA has been called and they are considering it but nothing yet. Does anyone have any suggestions or know someone with the equipment to get this little guy down? I know it is a kitten with no name but it is a life so if anyone can help or knows of someone that can help please consider doing so.

Immediately early risers checking their FB pages instead of making wholesome breakfasts for their kids were up in arms. HOW DARE the city not rush out at the first FB post to save Scratchy the cat. Then blame fell to the police, fire department, and Superman (soon they realized he was busy making his sequel so forgave him lickity split).  SIDE NOTE: Apparently "Lickity" is not a word, my spell checky red line is coming up for "lickity" how is that NOT a word in the English language? END SIDE NOTE. So as the hours wore on more and more posts, where some concerned (obviously unemployed) citizen spent the entire day calling all the local television, radio, print, blogger, and podcast media to get them on the CATGATE express. Now don't get me wrong I feel for the cat, and he was scared poop-less with all these people clamoring around and he was obviously causing a little disturbance and needed top be brought down safely. Well then cooler head began to come to the defense of the city, firemen, police, animal control etc... some even pointed out that the original post being around shift change as well as it being the morning of 9/11 a day that most fire departments have a few extra things to do in addition to putting out fires or cutting 500lb people out of their houses that they may be busy, Also that some police did respond earlier on but got called away to respond to a CRIME. I am sure that whomever was being mugged, assaulted, or having their lawn peeed on by some passing drunks would't have minded waiting but the police are ever so stubborn about prioritizing their responses. 

So eventually what happened was a off duty fireman did come out got up the tree with help of a cherry picker and well the cat jumped. Now I already said, I feel for the cat, I do, but I have a lingering feeling that the spit and fire of the original poster and those hausfraus that jumped on the bandwagon might have pushed the community to respond with too much force and seeing this the cat felt responsible and ended all. Maybe turning a blind eye, leaving a can of Starkist (good stuff by the way, and I am willing to sign an endorsement deal if anyone from Starkist is reading...) maybe the cat would have come down. Maybe not

So to provide closure here is what was on FB about the cat:

I would like to apologize on behalf of PHS for the comment posted below by PHS - while my first inclination was to erase it, I think it is more important that we address and correct the inaccuracies for all to see and realize. This morning, Portsmouth Animal Control was contacted about a kitten in a tree in someone's yard. The officer on duty (and there was only one officer on duty as the other three were in court this morning) went by the residence and with little descriptive information, was unable to find the kitten. The officer left to tend to other service calls. After being called by volunteers this morning about the kitten, PHS called Animal Control and gave them complete details (thanks to the volunteers) about the location of the kitten. The officer went back to the location and was able to spot the kitten, but unable to get to it. Animal Control has traps and a net for catching cats, no ladders. The Portsmouth Fire Department also arrived on scene with a ladder truck to try and help. An off-duty firefighter was the one that climbed the tree to recue the kitten. Sadly and unfortunately, the kitten, absolutely terrified, jumped from the tree. While the end result is not what everyone had hoped for, it is such an inspiration to see the community ban together and rally behind such a lifesaving effort. We truly appreciate the role that everyone played in working together to save the life of a lonely kitten.

So once again some ASSHAT made an assumption and maybe in a small part was responsible for the tragic outcome.

To be fair, I am not totally immune, how many assumptions did I make in this rant?

-Marco Out

So much Fakebook so little time

Early this morning, which was late late at night for me since I could not sleep and was still up at 5:30 (with an "O" in front of it), I checked out Facebook to see what Milley Cyrus memes I was missing or pictures of copulating goats my friends in Nepal or maybe Uzbekistan were posting about - because lets be honest, my life is incomplete without tracking every movement of dozens of swimwear models, rock bands, and strangers I  accepted friend requests from because I needed to artificially augment my Facebook friend numbers so I could look important.

If I leave the damn thing alone for only one day I find that I missed out on at least three good jokes that make me laugh out loud, 14 anti-Obama posts, a dozen anti-right wing posts, three gay friendly posts, two posts warning that the"Mooslums" or the Illuminati or the Fish People are taking over America, a few friends who post how miserable their life is because of the shenanigans of their kids or how they hate their boss, traffic, the weather, their neighbors dog, or the mailman (yeah I don't get that one either), and hundreds of scantily clad women or memes about gun control,  Navy Chiefs getting into trouble for not tucking in their gym shirts in public, and a large number of posts from friends trying to be motivating and a far less from some that actually ARE motivating. A random post or picture of someones new baby, grandkid, niece, car, TV, dog, kitten, or mistress. And of course the 150 Star Wars related posts every day that I MUST sift through because GOD forbid I miss out on any news of who is being cast as guy in background #6.  Now you may be thinking that I am talking about your FB posts, please realize I am not talking about yours just everyone else's.  Ok just kidding, actually I am talking mostly about the 300 pages I have "liked" over the last few years and now my news feed is being gang raped by memes, pictures, political statements, and pictures of dogs driving HMMWVs or shooting sniper rifles, of which I dutifully share more often than I should thus propagating the madness.

No wonder I can't sleep...I haven't checked my FB in at least 30 minutes.

Dinner Party at the Edge of Tomorrow

...Ok understand the nature of this "blog" is in the name - Rambling thought. Mostly I just have an idea and turn it into diarrhea of the keyboard. And as is my nature, I use that as my excuse to do as little editing and proofreading as possible, other than the obvious things that need to be fixed to make it tolerable to read.

Disclaimer - I had this one rolling in my head for about 24 hours. I took a short road trip where I drove about 11-12 hours each way and as a warning to any drivers out there, my mind tends to wander. And after a few hours of listening to Star Wars, Ghostbusters and Political Commentary podcasts my mind asked me a question.

If you could invite 10 people to a dinner party who would they be and why? Well this is a fun game and just to keep from making it too easy, my mind then threw out a few rules. It told me to stick to anyone who was alive during my lifetime, must have had influence on me but also some segment of the population (so no 3rd grade teachers or old high school crushes). So immediately the obvious like Jesus, Buda, Einstein, The man (or woman) who invented fire or the wheel were all out of contention. Guess they will have to get some smoked Salmon, stuffed peppers, and grape soda at another dinner party.

In no particular order.

George Lucas. Anyone who knows me will think this is a no brainer. But the reasons may be not as obvious. This man sucks as a director, ok we all know that. The original Star Wars succeeded despite his involvement with it as director. What he did do was create a marketing powerhouse by retaining the rights to future movies, he brought together huge stars like Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing to play along side unknowns like Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. He tapped the brilliant talent of John Williams and Ralph Mcquarrie while "discovering" the future genius of Ben Burtt, John Dykstra, and Lorne Peterson. He created Skywalker sound, THX, ILM and other powerhouses that were key in the development of the future of film, sound, effects, and the theater experience. And he sold it all for 4 Billion, knowing as Kenny Rodgers sings about - when to hold em, when to fold em, when to walk away and when to run.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. First of all they have to come as a couple. If not for her, he'd be dead. If I had to pick a John Lennon for my lifetime Ozzy would be at the top of the list. I have a lot of favorite bands, songs, solo artists, and albums, but the Oz man himself holds most of the tops spots of all those lists. He may have been fighting a battle of inner demons his whole life and few mothers will hope their kids grow up to be like him, but he is a survivor. And not to ignore Sharon, she is a cancer survivor and a very successful woman in her own right. I could not see one without the other and to have them both attend this dinner party will simply mean that the emphasis will be on party.

Well if I can't have Albert Einstein (damn my own rules) I had to argue with myself if I would rather have Carl Sagan or Stephen Hawking. I mean I COULD have both, but I am not going to be greedy here and if I am one thing - I have eclectic tastes. So as much as I appreciated watching Sagan in my youth on his Cosmos Series (look it up on iTunes) and in my not so humble opinion his book Contact is one the best out there. I have to go with who I think has had more influence and that would be the man himself Stephen Hawking. He is the real 10 pound brain in the room, however through his books Brief History of Time and Briefer History of Time, he has probably brought more advanced science down to a laymen's level in a way that is easy to digest and understand than hundreds of science teachers. Not only a genius, but humble playing himself on the Simpsons and The Big Bang Theory. He may not be right on everything (he does not believe in God), but I can't dispute he is probably one of the smartest men on the planet right now and how can you not invite him and have him sit between George Lucas and Ozzy Osborne?

Mr Rodgers. Hell YEAH!!! What American kid was not watching him sometime during the 70s, 80s, or 90s? Hell, how many adults didn't sneak a quick look over on PBS and see what was going on in the land of make believe or what Mr. McFeely was going to deliver? I guess I could throw a little love to "The Street" (Sesame Street) or Capt Kangaroo, but really it was Mr. Rodgers who got the little 4-6 year old me learning about the world around me and throwing a few etiquette lessons in there for good measure (like changing from out door shoes and sweater to indoor) not that I kept up with any of that turning into the slob I am today. If you are feeling just a little nostalgic here you go (click here).

President Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan. Again another couple because after reading the President's diaries a few years ago I can not picture one without the other. The President was loneliest when he was away from Mrs. Reagan even surrounded by aides, staffers, cabinet members and dignitaries. Their relationship alone is enough for me to admire and respect. Now add in that I don't care what anyone says, I firmly believe that Reagan, Thatcher and with some help from willing and amicable allies like Helmut Kohl and Pope John Paul (and others) the cold war would have continued for at least another decade or two. The cold war may have become hot had it not been for Reagan's steadfast stance against communism while courting Mikhail Gorbachev and meeting half way with him. There is too much to bring up and I want to save some items for dinner conversation but needless to say the Reagans will be the power couple at the party as long as Nancy doesn't catch Ozzy doing any blow in the bathroom.

The Dalai Lama. I guess simply put, if you have seen the movie Seven Years in Tibet then you may understand. You want an example of someone who does not quit even in the face of overwhelming odds and facing a never ending fight to achieve a goal you know you will not see in your life time, while providing spiritual guidance for millions and setting an example for billions, then the D man is your guy.

Not to leave out a little balance Pope John Paul II. I mean the guy survived an assassins bullet then forgave the attacker even before his wounds healed. He led the church during some of the biggest growth and biggest controversy. Outsiders may never understand and mock the very office of the Pope but he sat at the head of the church with the most dignity of any other leader of that time. Plus having God's right hand man at the dinner may give me some karma points to balance out some of my other choices.

Now I figure I need some comedy. I listen to hours of satellite radio and it is 90% the comedy channels. I have my favorites and Bill Cosby, Steven Wright, Bob Hope, Carrot Top...NO FREAKING WAY, just kidding about Carrot Top... so many greats ones. But I think this will be a surprise, gotta go with the Late Great Bernie Mac. Left us way too soon and maybe that is why he is on this list. If I could bring him back for one more show then I would do it. His comedy was good for all ages, sometimes not PG but he could do the PG stuff or take it to that dark dirty corner that only consenting adults go into. He was a great actor and took care of his family. Plus I could never pull it off but he had style and could rock some crazy suits. Truly a King of Comedy.

Well to be fair that is ten. But when I was driving I was not taking notes - well at least not after I swerved across the median and into the oncoming lane the third time. After that I had to keep it in my head and I had a few more invites to send out-

Bob Ross. You know him, if you are my age or older you had to be turning the TV channel knob and catch his show on some random Sunday or Saturday Morning. Maybe you were just a little hung over or coming down from a Fruit Loop sugar high rush (depending on your age at the time ... or maybe not) and it was either watching Bob paint or Bill Dance catch bass. I admit it was usually a coin flip, but looking back I realize Bob's cadence when he spoke and the way he injected adjectives into what he was paining i.e. "just going to put a little happy tree here, ohhh yeah I see it now, just sitting there in his happy meadow with some jolly birds here in the corner, just a swipe of the brush will do it, maybe a few more over here with another happy tree..." There were a number of weekend mornings in the 90s that Bob saved me from jumping out into traffic to get rid of a beer soaked headache. I only wish I learned to paint while at it. Bob is another one who the world is not as nice without him.

Britney Spears. Well if everyone I knew read these posts then there is about  25 people who just yelled - OK NOW YOU"VE WENT TOO FAR..." and at the same time they were secretly thinking - "Yeah that is the guy I know". I think she is hot, can dance, can sing, and well I still celebrate every December 2nd (her birthday) hoping one day she will notice me following her and let me get close enough to smell her hair.

Angelina Jollie and if we HAVE to then her husband that one guy...what is his name? ...Brad Pitt, yeah he can come too - I guess. Look I like Angelina Jolie, she does good for a lot of causes and doesn't just shoot a 30 second commercial every few years. She goes to some hell holes and brings attention to organizations helping in 3rd world countries. Yeah her and Brad are a little granola but who cares, it's my party and I'll invite her. Oh and she is sitting on one side while Britney is on my other side. And to be fair, if I looked like Brad I'd have went after her too.

Jim Henson. Politics aside, I wanted to be a puppet master when I was younger. I did not really pursue it but it was hard maybe to consider something so abstract when we lived in small communities overseas in the dark ages before the internet and other resources. But I did have a few puppets mom and dad let me buy as a kid and I remember putting together a few puppet shows for the kids in the neighborhood. Unfortunately it never grew beyond a few hand puppets. But if you consider what Jim Henson did with his imagination and creations. He created the whole worlds and his puppets have been seen by billions of people. If he accepted the invitation I would only hope he would bring Animal, Gonzo and Fozzie the Bear along with him.

... I just realized I forgot the others, most importantly Bob Newhart and Stan Lee. Both have brought so much to the world. Mr. Newhart's comedy is spot on an he is the most humble person in the public spot light (search for his Emmy acceptance speech from 2013). And of course Mr. Excelsior himself Stan Lee. Creator of the Marvel Universe. I think Bill Nye was one, and I mentioned him earlier, but Ben Burtt who did the sound design on the original Star Wars Trilogy and edited the prequals was another. Both are at the top of their fields and have had some influence on me and my interests. I am sure I was thinking of adding Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, and Lynn Swann on there but I still hold a grudge against the current Steelers so would probably would just invite Franco since he saw the light and played for Seattle at the end of his career.

As with any list I am sure I forgot someone I had on my mental list in the car. I have a feeling I am forgetting someone I really want on there but I will hit them next time.