Thursday, November 7, 2013

God is causing global warming…


No I am not trying to race bait, nor am I tying to get liberal environmental wackos and bible thumpers to combine together and agree to hate me (for totally opposing reasons). I just connected the dots.



1. God flooded the earth. Whether you believe in the actual flood where Noah filled a titanic-sized wooden boat with two of each kind of animal and his kids (wonder if he only took two of them as well…) and floated around for 40 days (and nights) …so you either believe in the Bible version or the evolutionary version. There is solid scientific fact that the Earth has flooded. The ice caps have grown and retracted through ice ages and periods of warming. There are fossils of sea creatures in the Sahara and evidence of cites under water in the Mediterranean and Caribbean. The point is that Earth has flooded before.

2.  God flooded the earth. God hawked a loogie at the Earth and flooded it to purge the population of their wicked ways….oh speaking of purging. Did you see the movie – “The Purge”? I just watched it last night from Netflix. That is a whole new subject and I won’t go into it now, but I just found out that they are going to make a sequel. Not bad for a movie that was based on a Star Trek episode from the 60s. So the people of earth were up to no good. Worshiping cows (McDonalds anyone?) Into all sorts of debauchery (reality TV??) and doing all sorts of other things that I am too lazy to look up on Google. Again if you don’t believe in the God option, how about that the Earth is one big organism and like all good organisms, if it is sick or some parasite is bothering it, then it takes some Advil or maybe penicillin to chase away the virus. So if we are the Eustrongylides ignotus then maybe the Earth tried a few earth quakes, the plague, AIDS, and said, screw this – “Go Big or Go Home” and is going to melt the caps and drown us all. I bet you non-God believers start praying then, haha…

3. God may have created the Earth in seven days, but God’s days have got to be longer than ours. So maybe God stepped out and turned off the AC to save a few bucks on the next electric bill. So even if it is a short trip for God it could be years, decades or centuries for us. So better invest in some water wings and take sailing lessons because either its God’s will or the Earth is calling the shots, either way who you going to call?

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About Me

I am a hetrosexual male. I snore, am getting old, bald, and fat, so anyone interested?