Early July, it was announced – unofficially via the likes of Rolling Stone, Variety, and some guy named Bob on Facebook, that Billy Dee was coming back to a Galaxy Far Far Away (GFFA). Officially for me, I read it on my Facebook feed (probably someone sharing Bob’s original post) July 9^th sometime before 9 pm. I know this because by 9:37 pm I posted it myself. I remember holding back the information until I had seen it from a few different sources, but even as I write this missive – a full 14 days later – still no “official” announcement from Lucasfilm. I will write here what I threatened in my original FB post – “Don’t screw this up Mr. Mouse.”

Most kids of the Star Wars generation, ones that were still impressionable (no matter the physical age) and maybe still played on playgrounds during recess, picked who they were going to be. It was always a choice between Luke or Han (later to be a choice between Starbuck and Apollo) much like previous generations picked between cowboys and Indians (oh the PC horror) and/or cops and robbers.

• Sidetrack #1 - I preferred being the robber – more money in it I guess…and do not recall any preference of Indians over Cowboys, but I do remember thinking that the Indians had better tactics, but in all fairness and honesty, I don’t I knew what a tactic was at five years old…

I guess I don’t really remember who I picked to be – or more likely fought to be, since with only two main “hero characters” (plus Chewie, and ugh the “girl”) inevitably, fights broke out on who got to be Han or Luke.

• Sidetrack #2 - Nothing at all against Leia. She was always and forever more everyone’s favorite princess, and a hero in    her own right, something that the millennial generation did not discover, and was always a fact, even amongst what is currently being chastised as the old white-guy fan generation.  But the concept of “playing” as Leia, was just not something that we 5-10 year old kids could grasp at the time. Yet, in a year or two, we would all give up our StretchArmstrongs and Evil Knievel Stunt Cycles for just a peck on the cheek from Our Princess.

Either way, I recall quite well that I did not really identify with either Luke – the innocent hero or Han – the worldly skeptical rogue. I might lean more toward Han, but I knew I wasn’t THAT cool. I am about to contradict that statement in 119 words.  Then in 1980, we got the real scoundrel. The one who could work both sides and still come out ahead. The one who despite looking like he was only out for himself, he was actually working toward the greater good.  I present to the court - evidence exhibit #1 –where Lando calls for the evacuation of Cloud City, trying to saveas many of his citizens as he could.

• For more – check out this web page I just found while looking for that linked clip above.

Lando, the cape wearing, mustache owning, gambling (and often winning but not so much that you become suspicious) not quite good not quite bad, smooth Ladies man was the character I wanted to play on the playground. Yes, he was still too cool for me, but the few years in between Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back had hardened me and made me believe I could reach that level of cool. But alas, by the time he emerged in the GFFA I was too old to really “play” on the playground, and too young to use what he was teaching to successfully woo the ladies.  Still, in the privacy of my own backyard or my room, Lando was the hero of many of the missions my well-worn action figures went on.  I did not try to steal Leia away from Han, but since there were various versions of Leia released, I just waved my imagination wand and presto! Lando got his own lady-friend, someone who magically looked like Leia, but was not. With that solved, RTOJ was right around the corner.

RTOJ just solidified what I liked about the character.  At first I was a little confused why he couldn’t go down to the forest moon, why didn’t he make the cut. But looking back, the best scenes in that movie are the space battle scenes. And while the main cast/crew was down on the moon, the most suspenseful parts of the final act in RTOJ are the ones where Wedge…

• Sidetrack #3 – Wedge, probably my second favorite character in the franchise – so underrated. I mean how was Episode VII not ALL about Wedge?  He survived BOTH Death Stars and the battle of Hoth, plus how many other off-screen missions.  I get it, Denis Lawson didn’t want to comeback, but I’m guessing Peter Cushing wasn’t really available for Rogue One and somehow he was a major character in the film….

…and GENERAL Lando are weaving and diving and performing split-Ss, pitchbacks, wingovers, and high-G barrel rolls. And all he lost was an antenna…well and a few wing-men. But when faced with retreat or going head in – he goes head in. Trusting on his friend who most people thought he had grossly betrayed only one episode prior. Lando not only drives straight in, he does it with style.

Now, what do I want to see in episode IX? Well, it is the same thing I expected to see in TLJ. As I have said and written, I went in to the TLJ fairly spoiler free. So during the movie I was projecting what I thought would happen. I went in not realizing the travesty I was about to witness. So during the movie and especially at the point where the Resistance leadership claims that they are broadcasting messages to their “allies” I fully expected to see Fleet Admiral Calrissian show up at the most climatic moment, even if only at the very end of the movie.  I wanted to see a flash of light as a large fleet of allies ships of all sized emerge out of hyperspace. I wanted then to see these ships move to engage and putting themselves in-between Leia’s flagship and the First Order fleet. Then I wanted to see the scene cut to the interior of the flag ship and then zoom in to the Admirals bridge chair, where we see a familiar figure. A capped figure – with a familiar mustache. He stands…we get a close up of his face…Its LANDO, and he says one word – engage! Cut to the credits…and leaving us on the edge of our seat until December 2019.

We didn’t get that…

Solo Review

My review of Tokyo Drift…

Or was it Max Max IV...

Or was it The Chewbacca Movie...

Well the Solo movie started out like a space version of Tokyo Drift, the least popular (but probably my favorite) chapter of the Fast and Furious franchise and transitioned into a little bit of a modern version of the Great Train Robbery then into of kind of a Mad Max movie.  Then they threw in the mandatory casino like scene, a whole crap ton of new aliens (yet no Ithorians, Weequay, Jawas, Bothans, and only one token Rodian and Tognath each) a short space battle and topped it off with a final surprise ending.

Solo was good.  The most important thing for me was that it might shut up a progressively louder segment of fandom.  I usually like things to maintain a certain pattern and consistency.  So, when it comes to the episodic films of my favorite franchise, I want to see a scroll, I want to see the a story that somehow involves the Skywalker family - even if the story has to be moved forward 20 generations to get away from the current time period and freshen it up.  I want to see a star ship cross in front of the screen in the first shot then a pan to a planet below.... you get the idea.  I like that R2D2 and that other irritant are somehow present, they are the glue that keeps it all one continuous story.  As for Solo, I like that it violated all of these “rules.”  - Oh yeah, SPOILERS ahead…

What Solo left out is what makes it unique and sets the mold for what future Star Wars (Standalone, anthology, Stories…) have to do – or rather maybe even more importantly, not do. 

One off directors-

Apologies to Lord and Miller, but I am glad that they got the boot and Ron Howard was brought in to helm this flick.  I think GL had the right idea to have his friends do the prequels, too bad they all turned him down.  Finally someone made the world right again, and Opey got his turn, let’s hope this leads to a Eastwood directed Kenobi film, or a Taratino directed Maul film…a Spielberg directed film on the imprisonment of the Wookies and Chewbacca’s return post RTOJ to liberate them. Needless to say, I am happy with the Howard treatment.  Despite the satisfaction on my part, I hope this is Howard’s last foray (at least for a while) into the Galaxy Far Far Away.  Fans are crying for diversity; well let’s start with the directors.  More JJ or RJ is not the recipe for success.

Crawl, Walk, Run-

I am good with no crawl for the one-off movies.  A few inches of lines of introduction is big enough (at least that is what she keeps telling me).  This worked well since we were already well versed in the Star Wars universe.  No one needed to be filled in on the Empire, Corellia, or criminal gangs.  There was just enough information to set the scene.  The test will be the first movie they do that is set out of the period from the Prequel Trilogy (PT) to the Original Trilogy (OT).  When they start to venture out beyond the known Republic-Empire-Rebellion canopy they how will they handle that.  I just do not think that the audience is going to want to have to study before going into a film, and crib notes flashing on the screen to catch everyone one up will have to maintain the KISS method.

Solo is soooo…ummmm

Alden Ehrenreich plays Han Solo.  Ok…when this was announced I was indifferent on the choice.  At the time, I figured I might get around to seeing it after it was out a week or two.  My viewing plans changed, but my opinion on the actor has not, maybe I have shifted from indifferent to ambivalent.  There were times when Han Solo on the screen where I rather forgot who he was playing.  The voice and inflection was fine, for me what took me out of the moment was more his facial expressions. Many people wanted Anthony Ingruber to be in the role.  After his YouTube video of his Harrison Ford impressions went viral he had quit the fan following.  His role-playing the younger version of a Harrison Ford in the Age of Adeline also fed many to question why he wasn’t given the role.  I do not know if he would have been any better.  It might have been worse.  One thing I can say is at least this Ehrenreich guy wasn’t doing an impression for two hours and fifteen minutes which would have been unbearable.

Lando

This is the one aspect that could have killed this movie for me.  I was not a fan of the casting choice.  I still am not a fan of the casting choice, but I did not hate it.  One thing that went quite well, just seconds before we are being introduced to Lando we can hear his voice.  I could have sworn that was Billy Dee.  I even wonder if they somehow took clips of his voice and layered it over Donald Glover’s voice to kind of ease us into it, like a septuagenarian getting into a warm bath… As far as Glover’s acting, he did ok.  I felt there were times he was forcing something.  I know he can act; his portrayal in Community was fantastic.  Let us put it this way, I did not walk out of the theater so it could not have been that bad.

“Woody” Beckett

Woody Harrelson plays what was supposed to be Han’s mentor.  I was fine with his role – at least it was more Haymitch Abernathy, with a mix of Larry Flynt and thankfully no Woody Boyd or Roy Munson.  I think 100 actors could have played it and it would have been as equal a performance.  He played a role that was so-far unestablished in cannon and was dead by the end of the movie, so no harm no foul. I know that I am in the minority on this, but when Han shoots him near the end of the film, I would have loved to hear him say something to the effect of “my last lesson kid – always shoot first…” I know, people would have rioted but sometimes I think we need a good purge.

Ewoks and B Actors

I was hoping to not get distracted by a sudden forced in appearance of R2 or that other guy.  On the contrary I was really was looking for the Warwick Davis obligatory appearance and the hopeful but not quite confirmed (I was spoiler free) appearance of Ron’s brother Clint.  They both got their cameos, the droids did not, all is right in the world.

That damn droid

All I can say about L3-37 is that the destruction of that droid is one casualty that I was thankful for.  I am NOT racist against droids. One of my bffs is a droid.  Anyway…I got chocked up when K2-SO dies(?) in Rogue One, I kept getting misty eyed even after the 14^th time I saw it in theaters.  However, when L3 gets blown up, I almost stood up and cheered.  I did like how they used her “brain” to make her part of the Falcon but everything prior to that was just irritating.  The whole “Free the slave droids” act was too much over the top.  I would think as a droid she could act without emotion and be more subtle about what she was doing.  The one cool part of her scenes it gave Ron Howard a reason to bring Clint in the action. The whole – did they or didn’t they, dynamic between Lando and the droid was unnecessary and I thought it was forced. It just made me feel the droid was delusional, and droids are not supposed to be delusional, are they? See how it just takes you out of the movie?

Maul  -

WTF? I am so glad I missed this spoiler. Not much surprised me throughout the movie. I was usually a step or two in front of the reveals and the double and triple crossing The Maul reveal however was the one thing that got me.  I am cool with the PT, never hated it and to be honest Maul was not my favorite part of TPM.  But I am glad he is back in the live action part of SW

Of course we had plenty of the requisite  explaining every facet of every off-handed comment made in the OT

Meeting Chewie, meeting Lando, Han’s time as an Imperial, Han seeing/flying the Falcon for the first time, the Kessel Run..all things that were covered and were probably the top of the list of everything we already knew about.  With a reference to Jabba, the (over inclusion) of the dice, and we covered about every possible reference Han made during the OT. We even got the anti “I’ve got a bad feeling…” I am not sure if we were explained to on why Han does not like to be told the odds, where the red stripe came from, and THANK GOD no Boba Fett. Not even a off handed reference. I’d have bet a crap-ton of credits that there would have been something related to Fett – whew, I dogged that one. Ahhh but LFL got me in the end.  I walk out of the theater, check my phone and see the news that they are planning a Fett movie. Couldn’t give me just a day?

One more reveal kind of showed how expecting fan service and everything how the idea that the Star Wars universe is one big trailer park where everyone and everything is related kind of messes with you –was the reveal of the Enfys Nest.  I lost a few minutes trying to figure out if that was someone I should already know. After consulting a few oricles of fandom I now know that I didn’t miss anything. She is new. Totally new. Meaning no backstory, no connection to anyone.  At least until LFL realized she needs a story, then she will end up being Kenobi’s best friend’s sister’s granddaughter. 

So overall I am good with it. There was a point in the middle of the movie, during the battle to get off Kessel, I got a a flash of - "man I'd love to see this crew in a second movie."  Of course half of them are dead now, and at least one is a traitor to the other (not that I blame her, I'd have done the same thing, chase the dollas!!!). But in the end I would support a Solo II; Not so Solo.

My predictions for Solo.

It has been no secret I dubbed the Solo movie, the movie that did not need to be made.  I don't care who thinks they said it first, I thought of it back in 1988. 

When the future Disney-Star Wars was being laid out and when the “stand-alone” aka “anthology” aka “Star Wars Story,” aka non-episodic films (whatever nomenclature KK is using this week) were announced, I was ecstatic at the idea.  Visions of a possible Rogue Squadron movie sparked my imagination - OT era or even post OT era would have been fine, just give me a movie where Wedge is the lead! Or a Kit Fisto film, why not? Right?

Admittedly, I scoffed at the idea of Rogue One, until I saw the panel at Star Wars Celebration VII (were we still using numbers back then?) in Anaheim.  I further scoffed, even louder, maybe it was more a “pooh-pooh” when someone mentioned a possible Kenobi movie.  However, after reading the JohnJackson Miller Kenobi book (July 2014) – published toward the end of the legends line, but in my opinion Disney should have put that in the so called “new continuity” (fail #346) – the idea started to grow on me.  Further making me want this (so far) non-movie were the stories from The journals of Ben Kenobi - Marvel Star Wars #7 and continuing on in a few more issues later down the line.  I point this out to add evidence that I am not opposed to the concept of non-episodic Star Wars movies, actually I am very much Pro-anthology.  

I am even willing to admit a small flaw in my personality where I am prone to making bad first judgments.  Despite originally thinking that Rogue One would add nothing. I now find Rogue One at #2 on my non-existent list of favorite Star Wars movies, since the list stops at #2 and all the others are tied for #3.  Where was I?

Oh yeah – right, I was getting to my predictions for Solo.  

So, Solo (hmmm that sound weird… Kind of like when someone says “when you do do that thing…”

Let’s try that again.  As far as Solo goes, I have come closer to the middle ground.  it is not like I was ever going to boycott. The people who are doing that simply because they hate TLJ are just idiots and are swimming upstream – but some people love rabid (under)dogs, and some people shoot them. Originally I planned on experimenting with the concept of NOT going to the opening night of a Star Wars flick and having a Sunday matinee be my first viewing.  I also kept with my strategy of avoiding all spoilers and not seeking out any information. I did not go to extreme measures, I just kept enough distance, and it seems to have worked (so far).  The few things I do know, are probably not going to ruin anything (except no Bossk - thanks TWISW). Either way, I don’t really expect much except to be pleasantly surprised.  It helps that I still have that “meh” feeling over TLJ and Lucasfim has moved the bar so low that I will probably enjoy the movie as long as it keeps me awake.  I may walk out and wished I had spent the evening talking politics with the dog or sharing some popcorn with her over a marathon session of the IT Crowd on Netflix. But really - it can’t be as bad or as lackluster as that travesty of last December. Or was it a non-travesty? I am not sure because I remain so ambivalent that I feel as if I might become an honorary millennial.

So, since I have nothing invested in this movie, other than a few bucks towards a ticket and some used DMR points to get a free official poster I made some predictions for fun.  This should be pretty spoiler free, because I know nothing of this movie.  All I know going in is, who wrote it, who acts in it, and the rough in-universe time period of the movie.  Oh and full disclosure, saw one part of one trailer where there is a train or something going through some mountains or snow – or was that the trailer for Snowpiercer? I don't know, I get confused and sidetracked easily now days. By the way, good movie based on a Korean novel.  I am still hoping for a sequel.

THE PREDICTIONS – da dha dummmm

Prediction number one – We find out that Solo is not just his last name, but a designation. He is the original template for a batch of cancelled clones.

Second prediction – Chewie is actually wearing underwear (a Disney mandated additive)  we just can’t tell because all the hair/fur that covers it.

C. Han Solo actually owned the Falcon long before Lando lost it to some third person, Lando then got it from that person, and finally Han cheats Lando to get it back. Orrrrr....we find out that the computer of the Falcon is actually the digitally stored brain of a ancient Jedi and that is why the Falcon survives against all odds and eventually finds itself working with Luke, Ben and then later Rey.

#5. We will be teased with a silhouette in the distance, or maybe an off-handed reference to Boba Fett. It will be a tease only and nothing more.  But if it happens be prepared for all the Boba-boys (those are Boba Fett fan boys that well...like Boba Fett - a lot) to squeal in the theater causing you to miss the next bit of dialog.  This will be Disney’s clever way of getting you to go a second time so you can hear what you missed – thus driving up the box office so Star Wars can take back the title from the Marvel Franchise.

Last prediction – Ok I lied, I have heard one other thing. So this is the only possible spoiler. Now is your chance to bail out- 

seriously no more warnings

really? still here?

Ok here it is

Apparently one of the screenplay writers only known to me as Laurence Kashdan’s son – so Kashdan Jr.? Either way, during one interview or some other situation where he has reason to jammer about the movie – he disclosed that Lando was pan-sexual.  Actually, I got all this from some anti-new Star Wars FB page, so who knows if this is true.  What I do know is there is a segment of fandom that has literally lost their feces over this news.  I am not fan of Billy…uh I mean Lando NOT being a ladies man (see him in the Ladies Man – another great movie!!!) and I take this comment as meaning not that Lando is Bi-sexual (not that there is anything wrong with that....Seinfeld anyone???) but that he basically bangs everything that moves (i.e. aliens).  So I went the long way to say that my last prediction is that -

We will see Lando in an orgy-like scene with some Twileks or some Ewoks or maybe even a Jawa or two.

End Credits

Credit one

Credit two

Credit three

….

End Credit Scene

A shot of C3PO and R2D2 doing something