Lemme splain something to you about limited imaginations and discussing Star Wars

Lets talk about the limits on Star Wars and some people’s imaginations.

Ok here is the deal.  There are multiple dimensions of Star Wars (or any large film, comic, or book franchise for that matter).

First, we have the imagination of the creator George Lucas (GL). Along with what was in his alleged original notes and the storyboards by the likes of Joe Johnston, script versions, concept art of Ralph Mcquarrie and all the authors, artists, and effects artists that filled in the blanks between George’s ideas and gave life to the second dimension – most importantly the soundtrack of John Williams and effects of BenBurtt. 

All of the above is the Genesis of the second dimension, what we see on film (including the Clone Wars and new Rebels series). What we hear in the radio dramas and read in the novelizations. And, depending on how you feel about the recent Disney/Lucasfilm announcement all other forms (i.e. the around 80 books and two dozen or so comic series, the  expanded universe then you can either add or ignore the E.U., the role playing games, the most excellent Dark Horse comic run and the various video games that added background content in addition to the movie that was not a movie, the Shadows of the Empire.

Third we have the real world, the actual limitations of the universe we live in. When a Storm trooper hits hishead on a Death Star hatch (it’s a hatch if it is on a vessel and the Death Star is a vessel for all intents and purposes so take any arguments elsewhere)…as I was saying… when a Storm trooper hits his head on said hatch it is seen by the general bandwagon fan, casual audience, and amateur film critic as a mistake that was missed in editing or kept in because the producers could not afford another take. However, that same scene is seen by fanboy and fangirl as a wrinkle that needs to be given a backstory.  So that 30 years later that Stormtrooper is named Harry and has four kids and joined the Empire only to earn some extra money to support his wife’s Sabacc addiction, and the reason he just hit his head??? He got a call earlier that day from his wife, he has another kid on the way, so he was a little out of sorts when charging into that control room and did not notice the door so cut the guys some slack and “move along…move along…”

Ok so those are your three dimensions of the SW universe. Why do I feel the need to break this down? Well I have been catching a lot of evidence of limited imaginations in the SW fan universe.

First back in the late spring (on our world) we discovered that SW had moved its production to Abu Dhabi. Not the tourist destination of choice so there must have been a reason. First assumptions by everyone was that it must be a fill in for Tatoonine. Just because it has desert. I can list the reasons that not only is limited thinking but also pretty stupid to assume since there are reasons that can be pulled from each of the three SW dimensions…so I will…

1.                    There are thousands or millions of planets in the SW universe, why assume Tatooine

2.                    The deserts of Yuma AZ filled in for Tatooine for RTOJ during the Jabba Skiff scene why involve the extra cost of security and travel to film in Abu Dhabi when AZ is sitting there all bored and ready to go?

3.                    Real world reason to not go to Tunisia where Tatooine was filmed for SW, TPM, and ATC was due to a less than ideal security situation however there are other parts of the same desert (in other words more like the desert used for Tatooine in the other movies) nearby such as in Morocco or even safer parts of Egypt.

4.                    Why do we have to return to Tatooine in the first place? Sure there are possible story lines that take us there looking for old Luke Skywalker or maybe a return there looking for an artifact Obi Wan left or some other reason. However again, with all the talent that have written hundreds of E.U. stories, why limit us to a planet that has been in nearly all the existing movies?

The limited imagination of some of the podcasters and bloggers “is killing me softly” (to quote Alicia Keys…is she not the HOTTEST chick ever???). It is now spreading to some more leaked photos we have seen online.

(SPOILER ALERT) so there have been shots of the Millennium Falcon and some possible X-Wing variations from an outdoor set in England. The issue here is there has been great discussion on the variations on the paint scheme and some what appears to be spare parts laying around the lot.  Here we have some huge assumptions and a problem with the fan need to speculate about EVERYTHING… Real world – the spare parts may be simply parts for the equipment (like cranes or what have you) used in the production. Or maybe it was some junk left over from previous uses. Or maybe it is part of the set, however just because it looks like a podracer engine does not mean there are podracers there. Think for a minute that the podracers were modified from something else, so if podracers use engines originally designed for other uses (like small space ships…) then it would stand to reason you would see them in a hanger area for X-wings. Oh and the X-wings are not necessarily the same models – 30 years have gone by, so there have had to be modifications in the same scope and range that you see from the Republic star fighters to the X-wing and so on. It is convenient that 30 years has passed in the SW dimension was well as real world so use that knowledge to base your “guesses” and make them educated.

If anyone has gotten this far then you have to be a fan, no one else would have read this much gibberish. Congrats and I hope to see you on 18 December 2015!

A Perfect Day of Television

My last post was inspired from a internal rant I had going in my head from the night before that then was reminded of it by a friend who posted on FaceBook about Joss Whedon.  The thing that got me going was great shows on SCIFI uhhh I mean Syfy (whatever that is supposed to be…) get cancelled just as they are becoming fan favorites, almost like that channel is the biggest “you know what” tease in your high school.  Further more great shows by geniusus like the aforementioned Mr. Whedon like Dollhouse and Firefly get cancelled long before they are able to become modern day classics.  This is nothing new, the original Star Trek was cancelled (twice), as was Arrested development and Jericho.  Many of these shows live on in comic books, graphic novels, and paperback but somehow the dollar driven T.V. industry fails to show patience and let some of these show run long enough to not only allow some fan satisfaction on seeing a good story play out over a number of years, but make them the profits they are expecting.  Shows do have a saturation point where they need to end, this is true, Cheers, M.A.S.H. ended with HUGE ratings because all the dedicated fans, and all the part-time fans tuned in to see the last seasons to see how it all wraps up.  Shows like The Office maybe went a season or two too long, but those last few episodes were magical.  Had it been cancelled in the first season or two that would have been lost to the wastebin of some corporate TV exec’s trashcan along with his used “tissues” and gin bottles. 

So, when I win the lotto, say a HUGE dollar amount, and I get the chance to run my own cable T.V. channel, with shows only.  No movies, no sports, and no news.  Not because I don’t like sports, news, or movies, quite the contrary, they just add a whole other element that I am not trying to rant about here.

Now you ask – “hey man what will be your schedule?”  well I will tell you.  Some of the shows I think the average Mercian T.V. junkie would love to just veg and watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon or whenever there is a soccer game on…

Some of these show should be 2-4 episodes in a row, some shows are just better when you can sit a do a mini-marathon, others might play only on weekends others on weekdays.  This won’t be a total breakdown hour by hour because some shows may play seasonal.  But when you tune into Gallo-tanment channel this is what you can expect to see.

A Perfect Day of Television

Early morning.  Grab your bowl of cereal and sit back in your PJs or Boxers and see: - Old School Cartoon hour (really about two hours but hey it’s a free day who’s watching the clock?).  Smurfs, He-Man, InspectorGadget, Bugs Bunny, and Super Friends.  Now who is ready for their day with a line up like that.  Hope those Coco puffs were good.

Later morning.  Get your game on.  Some of my earliest memories were at my grandmothers house destroying my uncles Hot Wheels or those 12 inch GI Joes while the Price is Right is on.  Any day sick from school was not complete with out a little “COME ON DOWN..JANE DOE…YOU ARE THE NEXT CONTESTENT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT…”.  After, the Showcase Showdown, which I am a firm believer I would kill on that game, is time for some of the best comedy ever to be transmitted over TV.  Gilligan’s Island, McHale’s Navy, The Andy Griffin Show, and finish with some great action of Gunsmoke or Bonanza.

Early afternoon.  So after lunch which should be a proper egg salad sandwich, chocolate milk and some pudding, we start watching some of the best of the 80s.  No rest for the sentimental funny bone we watch Wings, Cosby Show, Cheers and throw in an episode of Get Smart.

Rush hour.  While those fools that went to work today are stuck in traffic, we are watching the 90s Batman cartoon, and Disney’s Tale Spin.  And something that brings back memories of mom tinkering around in the kitchen making dinner while everyone was coming home, the original Star Trek should be playing just around 5 p.m every time I hear the opening soundtrack of the show I smell some kind of casserole or think of simple things like macaroni and cheese.

Prime time, or must see T.V. is full of a mix of great shows.  Start with The Office, Big Bang Theory, Dowton Abby, The IT Crowd for some more recent good times.  Then get some SCIFI in with Eureka and Warehouse 13, Firefly, and here I will save a place for Defiance, if it pans out to be as good as I hope it has a spot.

Later when it is dark and you can watch some more mature drama, we have Breaking Bad (shhh don’t tell us how it ends, we want to be surprised again), Sons Of Anarchy, Justified, The Americans, Hill Street Blues, and Baywatch (yes I am serious)

Late night there is no end to the fun.  Some of these shows are still airing in syndication or still going strong but for the insomniacs this is better than gold. Futurama, Archer, Arrested Development, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Late Late or OH CRAP ITS EARLY.  Back in the early 90s some of these shows were on at 2-3-4 in the morning.  Now it is all crap, infomercials and loud obnoxious adds. It is almost painful to leave your TV on when you fall asleep, because if you wake up during the crap they play now it is nightmare inducing.  I would put M.A.S.H, Twilight Zone, Miami Vice, and the X-Files on.  Maybe throw in some Airwolf, the Equalizer, and The Wire.

Rinse and Repeat.  Start the clock on another fine day of perfect T.V. with some 5 a.m. Sesame Street from back in the day when Mr. Hooper was still tending the store.

Tell me what I missed.

Hal Mason can suck it

This post is dedicated to Shepard Book and all good Sci/Fi characters that have been betrayed by people with bad taste.

Sometimes you just gotta hate. And I don’t mean to contradict other times where I have said I don’t like to throw out the “H” word but in the case of a fictional character on a Sci/Fi show I think we are o.k. to spew a little hate and discontent.

The character I am talking about is Hal Mason portrayed by Drew Roy, either the absolute worst talented no acting POS or a thespian of such great quality he can act totally board-like with no personality thus stripping all his own humanity away to play this shell of a whiffle ball. I also refer to this character as “Helmet Head” for the obvious reason, once you get a good look all you can fixate on is his hair that seems to not move and for good measure a second reason becomes apparent with the first utterance of dialog by this overpaid hemorrhoid commercial.

So here is what set me off.  Last night I did the rare thing and watched T.V. live instead of off the DVR.  I saw a new show called the “Last Ship,” I won’t bother anyone of my loyal two readers with the details but the show was fine for mindless Sunday night mind release into the world of T.V. porn.  (Note:  Like that – two rambles in a row where I managed to inject the word “porn”)  The Last Ship was supposed to lead into the season premier of “Falling Skies” a show which I kind of liked the first season started to realize it was not satisfying the itch it was trying to scratch by the second, totally did not even know the third season aired and now starts the fourth go around.  As the Last Ship ended and Falling Skies started up I grabbed the remote – well first I had to shove the dog over as she was sleeping on top of it.  When you have food she is all bushy eyed and bright tailed but when it comes time to turn the channel she weighs 500 lbs. and turns into something like a singularity in space where she draws all the loose objects toward her and her gravity well just gets heavier and heavier the closer you get.

Sooooo, I grab the remote and switch some channels and hit the end of an episode of Barney Miller.  Efff Yeah!!!! I did not know quality T.V. still existed. I missed the entire episode but the outro music got my mind racing and I remember that RonGlass was in that show.  Then connecting the dots I realized that Ron Glass was also in “Firefly”, then I realized Firefly was over 10 years ago and lasted ONE season….see where I am going? How in the holy hemorrhoid (Wait – I used that word already…lets see…hmmmm (SNAP) Got it!) …How in the merciful menstruating marsupial did Firefly get one season but helmet head gets four years of the batcrap crazy Falling Skies?

Look. Lets get it straight. I like Science Fiction.  I read a few books between other genres I get into.  I live out my inner 14 year old and stop by the comic store every two or three weeks and grab a number of issues of Sci/Fi, superhero, and TA Freakin DAAA the ongoing limited series of Firefly.  Obviously there is still a fan following but the butt cheeses that own those Nielsen boxes don’t watch good TV instead the salivate over another season of bad off key singing with American idolaters and the hot chick that “seemingly can’t find a man on her own” needs a show to screen 18 eligible bachelors over the course of four months, but these same “producers” – I use the term VERY loosely, get to choose to kill off good TV and keep crap like Helmut head harry on for – need I say it again? FOUR seasons.  Why o why. 

It is not just the character Hal I despise, but the plot sucks, the acting is worse, and I am rooting for the aliens that invaded Earth to get it over with.  Having said that, the special effects are great and set design is pretty awesome too, so why are they not working on a Firefly or move over to Defiance to make sure that show stays on the air. 

I am going to make a promise here.  If I ever win it REAL big on the lotto, I will have to start up my own channel. I would collaborate with Netflix and release the shows through them and a paid internet channel and I would finance a few of these shows that loyal fans want back. Start there and work my way to a full schedule.  It is already being done there is some great stuff out there just not big enough budgets (the Guild?  Or Space Janitors anyone?)

So for those that worship at the alter of sucky Sci/Fi check out TNT on Sunday evenings for Falling Skies, for everyone else send me $5 in the mail and I will let you be one of my shareholders in this new adventure I am conjuring up.

Rant over – Gallologic Out

My Facebook Guidlines

I don’t do throwback Thursday, may have done it once or twice for fun but its just not my thing, so don’t feel offended I am not participating.

I have “been there – done that”. A few times actually. I have shared memories of friends that did not come home to get the T-shirt and every once in a while I take time to remember an anniversary of a bad day, but I cannot share every story of every “Hero” or change my picture to whatever patriotic pic de jour, or I would never see my own profile picture. Just like I don’’t have a yellow ribbon magnet on my car, so please don’t judge because I don’t share every time.

Yes, I hate cancer. Yes my eyes get welled up when I hear about whatever sad story is circulating though the interwebs of some six year old that got his last wish to see Mickey Mouse or Dr. Who and yes, I often share those.  But this internet thing cannot be all about misery and sad stories, there has to be some balance, so if I skipped sharing your story you posted don’t feel like I ignored it, I probably saw it three months ago and it will probably recycle back around in another three.

If you post one of those posts looking for me to comment so I can remain your friend, then go ahead and “unfriend” me now. I pass on those as a matter of principle and if it is your principle to play the game then I guess our “friendship” consisting of pixels and electrons is at an end.

I have liberal family and friends, conservative family and friends, friends that are outright off their meds – I mean real wakadoodles, some that were (or still are) in the military, at least two dozen who do not live in this country and more than half of those are not American. So please do not get offended if I do not share your exact views. I often see something in my FB feed that is funny because it digs at President Obama and his communist agenda and then another post right after taking a swing at the over the top statements made daily by the Tea Party and some how I still can laugh at the humor of both one after the other.  I do not accept personal attacks against any FB (or real) friends even if I don’t agree with them.  I don’t mind initiating spirited debate but the conversation is over the first time someone hits below the belt, and even if they agree with me I want no part of your hate on my FB page.

If I post something and you comment some asinine question that is obviously addressed in the original post then I will ignore your question. I got no time for someone who cannot read the entire post.

Yes I have seen that George Takei post, EVERYONE has, he has more subscribers to his page than there are Facebook accounts.  Go ahead and share just in case but realize you are not original by doing so.

Go ahead and post every hour on the hour how sucky your life is, and how the kids don’t obey, and how traffic sucks, and how you can’t wait for the weekend so you can sit at home and post on FB how your kids don’t obey and life sucks… for the three of you on my FB friends list who do that  I have learned how to ignore your posts so that when you do post something really important like you need help moving I wont see it.  The thing is, its ok once in a while. I get it life is frustrating, but when it consumes you and spills over into this electronic world you are just poison to those of us on here trying to find new porn or Star Wars rumors.

Go ahead and spoil Game of Thrones, you are totally cool because you read the books and watch the show every Sunday with your phone in your hand waiting to hit send on that FB post spoiling what happened as soon as the first credit rolls. However warning, if you spoil Star Wars and I see it, I will not only cut you out of my life yours wont last much longer…just sayin