That's racist...

I have used the term "That's Racist" for almost anything. From someone saying they don't like chick flick movies, to someone actually being racist. Usually they are just being ignorant, sexist, classist, a vegetarian, a liberal, hating on handicapped people, or just disagreeing with me. By using that phrase I am not trying to weaken the severity of someone actually being racist. I just believe that phrase and that label is thrown around too much. I have seen racism as well as sexism, and a few other "isms" and in my heart I believe I have experience it. So I do know the difference, just think it is time for us to concentrate on being united and not so damn divided.

Very few people will argue that racism is not limited to a white man using race against a black man. I am not sure if I realized this as clearly as I did earlier today. I was listening to one of the comedy channels on my Sirius satellite radio, when I caught the middle of an interview of Gabriel Iglesias. If you have not guessed it already from the name he is Latino... He was talking about not dumbing down his comedy routine.  I am going to paraphrase here since I did not record word for word what he said... He realized that too many sub-cultures in America try to make their own little world and they are not able to see the big picture. I think he cited George Lopez as one who broke out, went mainstream and was successful throughout the world. He said, having your own Emmy's, own channels, own pageants, ect.. is only going to leave you exposed to your own people. He went on to say if you were a comedian and went to Europe or Australia and did Latino specific jokes that many Americans might understand, you could bomb outright. He also said its ok to make fun of our stereotypes (much like Carlos Mencia has said over and over) but to be successful you cannot alienate the people who are NOT LIKE YOU.

Since Mr. Iglesias is among the fasted growing population of the U.S. this is an interesting perspective. He does not come out and say everyone should assimilate, and I am not sure if that would be his position, but he is saying, you can't bitch and whine about the man keeping you down and not being able to succeed if you don't at least meet in the middle. Again - my words not his, but that is kind of what I got out of it.

I have had this idea too, but being a white male I am not really allowed to have that opinion. Seriously, if I come to the defense of a George Zimmerman I am a racist, if I like Run DMC I am a wanna be, if I say one of my best friends is black (or blue or yellow, or purple) I am just patronizing. BUT to hear an Iglesias put it out there I got to thinking again.

Just a few minutes ago I was going through my news feeds, and ran across an article on one of my favorite actors. Samuel L Jackson. First of all to clarify. He is one of the few people who can make a living on having a foul mouth (or what I prefer to think as profan-poetry) yet sit down and talk on a variety of subjects and sound like he is educated on it. Maybe it is because he is and when he is acting, well he is ACTING. When not in front of a camera getting paid to be someone else he is a different person. So I was not surprised to find this article about Mr. Jackson basically sounding off that the President is "Fronting" i.e. trying to play to the masses and not being true to himself and his background. Read the article since I don't want to rehash it here. My whole point is, if someone else were to call the President out, they might be called a hater, or uncle tom, or racist ect... and I would say then that would be like me calling out someone who hates putting peanut butter on their waffles sexist...

P.S. Sidenote - here is a left leaning blog that has the same article to show I am being fair and balanced...

P.SS before you get any ideas I am copyrighting the word "profane-poetry" so please feel free to use it but give credit where due or I will sue you

Staring at a white wall for hours can get you creating wonderful music in your mind

Basically I don't think I am ever not doing anything. I mean even when I sleep apparently I am doing something. I found out a few years ago I had sleep apnea. I went at least 14 years and probably longer with getting about 30 minutes to a few hours a sleep a night. I simply was exhausted every morning and never knew why. I was apparently waking up every 10 or 15 minutes and even when not waking fully I was having "events" a few times a minute thus not allowing me to go into deep sleep. Also apparently these event were me not breathing and to wake myself I was thrashing about or tossing turning. Years went by and I wondered why I felt as if some mornings I woke feeling as if I had done a few rounds with Kimbo Slice (by the way, I linked a page of his on another site but HOW does he NOT have his own website in a world where this is taking up prime interweb real-estate?

Where was I? Oh yeah, so basically even when I am sleeping apparently I am actively doing something, in the case of my sleep apnea I was obviously trying to see if I could kill myself in my sleep most Friday and Saturday nights between 2000 and 2004. That would be the period of time I lived in Spain and tried to be the Norm Peterson of Andalusia.

I find that while driving I am either listening to a podcast and arguing along, writing notes to myself either on my phone or actually WRITING notes by hand. Of course when I am really tying to note something important and critical (like "get Rooster Sauce at the Grocery store") is the time I hit no red lights and have to try to write my note while driving with my knees... Note: Disclaimer, if any law enforcement, or potential lawyers working for someone suing me, this is a work of FICTION and in no way represents what really is going on.

Ok now that the Po-Po and Sharks are gone I can continue. Oh wait, just to be safe. Any psycho analysts, psychiatrists, psychologists, and/or Betazoids should stop reading here as well since the rest of this is just non-sense.

So back to the wall staring. In recent months I have spent a few hours (days) with time to just stare at a wall. It would be a nice refreshing experience except I find that the mind wanders and I start conjugating Spanish or Serbian verbs. Voy, Vas, Va, Vamons, Vais, Van.....from there I start thinking of jokes about Vans or thinking about the Vans Deferens from there the crazy train that my thought is riding on travels on a track that just gets just crazy from Picachu to trying to think about if Lawrence Welk had met Ozzy and if so would they have jammed together just a little? oh oh oh and if maybe Don Ho could have jumped in. What would that have sounded like???

Jump to conclusions all you want, just wait until you are at the edge of a cliff to do so...

Two things totally at first unrelated,  gave me cause to stop and think, during which time I was able to link them together. The process my mind connected the two is much like how I can argue that Miley Cyrus latest antics, even though I don't have an issue with them, has shown us how awesome Britney really is. Don't you miss her? I do...

So two things happened today and then I started pondering on them, which then resulted in a headache  so to decompress I needed to go to Starbucks and order a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino pop on some headphones pull up a little Star Wars Soundtrack and get to rambling...

The second thing first. I was just pulled over for speeding in a school zone during the hours that the light was blinking. I did not even see the light and did not realize what time it was. I DID see the cop, and I knew I had done wrong, pulled over, gave no attitude which was a huge restraint on my part and should get me a few karma points. I actually was going slower than the regular speed limit and even though was slightly distracted and not mindful of my surroundings, I was driving safely, even the cop said I was ok, but still wrong. No argument there, kind of made me realize I was probably not paying attention more than I should be more than once regularly. Maybe in an alternate time line where he did not pull me over I get into an accident and get hurt or worse destroy my car. 

While pulled over, which I might add I pulled over all the way as to not cause congestion and had the hazards on, kept the hands on the wheel, pushed my shades to the top of my head (so he could see my eyes) and turned down the music. Considering this a small price to pay and grudgingly accepting my fate, I was content to patiently wait for my ticket. Then some JACKWEASELwho was turning at the next intersection which had him coming in the opposite lane yelled out to me  "You got what you deserve" (there was a median and I was pulled onto it since I got caught in the left lane). Ok again I already said I accepted it, I even went out of my way to minimize the congestion and from where I was pulled over there was no guarantee I was actually speeding in the school zone, I may have had my engine stall or had been speeding blocks down the street.

Here is the thing That no-load JACKWAD, by yelling out and not paying attention himself to the road was endangering those around him just as much as me. Ok maybe not exactly just as much, but two wrongs and all...and what upset me more was he just jumped to a conclusion on what was going on, also for all I know he works at the local 7-11 and didn't pay his taxes this year. I don't know but I don't make that assumption about him, about who is better. I have done my part for society that I am sure of, an still do (currently for free) and can sleep at night (well actually I can't but that is just weakening my point...) I just wish I had noticed what he was driving and his plates so I could find him and follow him around. I would have waited until I had proof of a red light run, incomplete stop at a stop sign, or illegal U-turn and then had his ass. I am unemployed right now I have too much time. Oh well missed opportunities. And my point was his jumping to conclusions and how I hate assumptions. (even though he was correct, just not correct enough to yell it out)

So incident number two, which actually happened first. Early this morning someone posted a message on a Facebook page I follow for one of the local animal shelters. There was a cat stuck in a tree and had been stuck for two days making a bit of noise and the neighbors were starting to worry that is was not going to come down. I am sure that the welfare of the cat was their primary concern and not the constant mewing and possibility if the cat starved in the tree would eventually attract hyenas, vultures, and rats. Either way, once the community started their heroic Farcebook posts (oops I meant Facebook, Freudian slip) it appears the neighbors did start to care more about the plight of the cat and sacrificed by bringing their dogs in the house to keep from scarring lil Sylvester and allowing the brave FB warriors of the community to come out and stand at the base of the tree and pontificate how to get Tom (or was the cat Jerry???) down safe and sound so they could turn him over to the pound for a good gassing in 10-30 days.

So the original post: (posted around 5 in the morning)

Attention Hampton Roads area:
There is a kitten near the top of a tree on the corner of Griffin and Caroline in the West Haven area of Portsmouth, VA. He is so scared that he will not move and he has been up there for 3 days. His meowing is loud and heartbreaking. Portsmouth police department, fire department and animal control refuse to get involved. My guess is that since there is no owner, making it "just" a stray kitten no one cares. PETA has been called and they are considering it but nothing yet. Does anyone have any suggestions or know someone with the equipment to get this little guy down? I know it is a kitten with no name but it is a life so if anyone can help or knows of someone that can help please consider doing so.

Immediately early risers checking their FB pages instead of making wholesome breakfasts for their kids were up in arms. HOW DARE the city not rush out at the first FB post to save Scratchy the cat. Then blame fell to the police, fire department, and Superman (soon they realized he was busy making his sequel so forgave him lickity split).  SIDE NOTE: Apparently "Lickity" is not a word, my spell checky red line is coming up for "lickity" how is that NOT a word in the English language? END SIDE NOTE. So as the hours wore on more and more posts, where some concerned (obviously unemployed) citizen spent the entire day calling all the local television, radio, print, blogger, and podcast media to get them on the CATGATE express. Now don't get me wrong I feel for the cat, and he was scared poop-less with all these people clamoring around and he was obviously causing a little disturbance and needed top be brought down safely. Well then cooler head began to come to the defense of the city, firemen, police, animal control etc... some even pointed out that the original post being around shift change as well as it being the morning of 9/11 a day that most fire departments have a few extra things to do in addition to putting out fires or cutting 500lb people out of their houses that they may be busy, Also that some police did respond earlier on but got called away to respond to a CRIME. I am sure that whomever was being mugged, assaulted, or having their lawn peeed on by some passing drunks would't have minded waiting but the police are ever so stubborn about prioritizing their responses. 

So eventually what happened was a off duty fireman did come out got up the tree with help of a cherry picker and well the cat jumped. Now I already said, I feel for the cat, I do, but I have a lingering feeling that the spit and fire of the original poster and those hausfraus that jumped on the bandwagon might have pushed the community to respond with too much force and seeing this the cat felt responsible and ended all. Maybe turning a blind eye, leaving a can of Starkist (good stuff by the way, and I am willing to sign an endorsement deal if anyone from Starkist is reading...) maybe the cat would have come down. Maybe not

So to provide closure here is what was on FB about the cat:

I would like to apologize on behalf of PHS for the comment posted below by PHS - while my first inclination was to erase it, I think it is more important that we address and correct the inaccuracies for all to see and realize. This morning, Portsmouth Animal Control was contacted about a kitten in a tree in someone's yard. The officer on duty (and there was only one officer on duty as the other three were in court this morning) went by the residence and with little descriptive information, was unable to find the kitten. The officer left to tend to other service calls. After being called by volunteers this morning about the kitten, PHS called Animal Control and gave them complete details (thanks to the volunteers) about the location of the kitten. The officer went back to the location and was able to spot the kitten, but unable to get to it. Animal Control has traps and a net for catching cats, no ladders. The Portsmouth Fire Department also arrived on scene with a ladder truck to try and help. An off-duty firefighter was the one that climbed the tree to recue the kitten. Sadly and unfortunately, the kitten, absolutely terrified, jumped from the tree. While the end result is not what everyone had hoped for, it is such an inspiration to see the community ban together and rally behind such a lifesaving effort. We truly appreciate the role that everyone played in working together to save the life of a lonely kitten.

So once again some ASSHAT made an assumption and maybe in a small part was responsible for the tragic outcome.

To be fair, I am not totally immune, how many assumptions did I make in this rant?

-Marco Out

So much Fakebook so little time

Early this morning, which was late late at night for me since I could not sleep and was still up at 5:30 (with an "O" in front of it), I checked out Facebook to see what Milley Cyrus memes I was missing or pictures of copulating goats my friends in Nepal or maybe Uzbekistan were posting about - because lets be honest, my life is incomplete without tracking every movement of dozens of swimwear models, rock bands, and strangers I  accepted friend requests from because I needed to artificially augment my Facebook friend numbers so I could look important.

If I leave the damn thing alone for only one day I find that I missed out on at least three good jokes that make me laugh out loud, 14 anti-Obama posts, a dozen anti-right wing posts, three gay friendly posts, two posts warning that the"Mooslums" or the Illuminati or the Fish People are taking over America, a few friends who post how miserable their life is because of the shenanigans of their kids or how they hate their boss, traffic, the weather, their neighbors dog, or the mailman (yeah I don't get that one either), and hundreds of scantily clad women or memes about gun control,  Navy Chiefs getting into trouble for not tucking in their gym shirts in public, and a large number of posts from friends trying to be motivating and a far less from some that actually ARE motivating. A random post or picture of someones new baby, grandkid, niece, car, TV, dog, kitten, or mistress. And of course the 150 Star Wars related posts every day that I MUST sift through because GOD forbid I miss out on any news of who is being cast as guy in background #6.  Now you may be thinking that I am talking about your FB posts, please realize I am not talking about yours just everyone else's.  Ok just kidding, actually I am talking mostly about the 300 pages I have "liked" over the last few years and now my news feed is being gang raped by memes, pictures, political statements, and pictures of dogs driving HMMWVs or shooting sniper rifles, of which I dutifully share more often than I should thus propagating the madness.

No wonder I can't sleep...I haven't checked my FB in at least 30 minutes.

Dinner Party at the Edge of Tomorrow

...Ok understand the nature of this "blog" is in the name - Rambling thought. Mostly I just have an idea and turn it into diarrhea of the keyboard. And as is my nature, I use that as my excuse to do as little editing and proofreading as possible, other than the obvious things that need to be fixed to make it tolerable to read.

Disclaimer - I had this one rolling in my head for about 24 hours. I took a short road trip where I drove about 11-12 hours each way and as a warning to any drivers out there, my mind tends to wander. And after a few hours of listening to Star Wars, Ghostbusters and Political Commentary podcasts my mind asked me a question.

If you could invite 10 people to a dinner party who would they be and why? Well this is a fun game and just to keep from making it too easy, my mind then threw out a few rules. It told me to stick to anyone who was alive during my lifetime, must have had influence on me but also some segment of the population (so no 3rd grade teachers or old high school crushes). So immediately the obvious like Jesus, Buda, Einstein, The man (or woman) who invented fire or the wheel were all out of contention. Guess they will have to get some smoked Salmon, stuffed peppers, and grape soda at another dinner party.

In no particular order.

George Lucas. Anyone who knows me will think this is a no brainer. But the reasons may be not as obvious. This man sucks as a director, ok we all know that. The original Star Wars succeeded despite his involvement with it as director. What he did do was create a marketing powerhouse by retaining the rights to future movies, he brought together huge stars like Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing to play along side unknowns like Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. He tapped the brilliant talent of John Williams and Ralph Mcquarrie while "discovering" the future genius of Ben Burtt, John Dykstra, and Lorne Peterson. He created Skywalker sound, THX, ILM and other powerhouses that were key in the development of the future of film, sound, effects, and the theater experience. And he sold it all for 4 Billion, knowing as Kenny Rodgers sings about - when to hold em, when to fold em, when to walk away and when to run.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. First of all they have to come as a couple. If not for her, he'd be dead. If I had to pick a John Lennon for my lifetime Ozzy would be at the top of the list. I have a lot of favorite bands, songs, solo artists, and albums, but the Oz man himself holds most of the tops spots of all those lists. He may have been fighting a battle of inner demons his whole life and few mothers will hope their kids grow up to be like him, but he is a survivor. And not to ignore Sharon, she is a cancer survivor and a very successful woman in her own right. I could not see one without the other and to have them both attend this dinner party will simply mean that the emphasis will be on party.

Well if I can't have Albert Einstein (damn my own rules) I had to argue with myself if I would rather have Carl Sagan or Stephen Hawking. I mean I COULD have both, but I am not going to be greedy here and if I am one thing - I have eclectic tastes. So as much as I appreciated watching Sagan in my youth on his Cosmos Series (look it up on iTunes) and in my not so humble opinion his book Contact is one the best out there. I have to go with who I think has had more influence and that would be the man himself Stephen Hawking. He is the real 10 pound brain in the room, however through his books Brief History of Time and Briefer History of Time, he has probably brought more advanced science down to a laymen's level in a way that is easy to digest and understand than hundreds of science teachers. Not only a genius, but humble playing himself on the Simpsons and The Big Bang Theory. He may not be right on everything (he does not believe in God), but I can't dispute he is probably one of the smartest men on the planet right now and how can you not invite him and have him sit between George Lucas and Ozzy Osborne?

Mr Rodgers. Hell YEAH!!! What American kid was not watching him sometime during the 70s, 80s, or 90s? Hell, how many adults didn't sneak a quick look over on PBS and see what was going on in the land of make believe or what Mr. McFeely was going to deliver? I guess I could throw a little love to "The Street" (Sesame Street) or Capt Kangaroo, but really it was Mr. Rodgers who got the little 4-6 year old me learning about the world around me and throwing a few etiquette lessons in there for good measure (like changing from out door shoes and sweater to indoor) not that I kept up with any of that turning into the slob I am today. If you are feeling just a little nostalgic here you go (click here).

President Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan. Again another couple because after reading the President's diaries a few years ago I can not picture one without the other. The President was loneliest when he was away from Mrs. Reagan even surrounded by aides, staffers, cabinet members and dignitaries. Their relationship alone is enough for me to admire and respect. Now add in that I don't care what anyone says, I firmly believe that Reagan, Thatcher and with some help from willing and amicable allies like Helmut Kohl and Pope John Paul (and others) the cold war would have continued for at least another decade or two. The cold war may have become hot had it not been for Reagan's steadfast stance against communism while courting Mikhail Gorbachev and meeting half way with him. There is too much to bring up and I want to save some items for dinner conversation but needless to say the Reagans will be the power couple at the party as long as Nancy doesn't catch Ozzy doing any blow in the bathroom.

The Dalai Lama. I guess simply put, if you have seen the movie Seven Years in Tibet then you may understand. You want an example of someone who does not quit even in the face of overwhelming odds and facing a never ending fight to achieve a goal you know you will not see in your life time, while providing spiritual guidance for millions and setting an example for billions, then the D man is your guy.

Not to leave out a little balance Pope John Paul II. I mean the guy survived an assassins bullet then forgave the attacker even before his wounds healed. He led the church during some of the biggest growth and biggest controversy. Outsiders may never understand and mock the very office of the Pope but he sat at the head of the church with the most dignity of any other leader of that time. Plus having God's right hand man at the dinner may give me some karma points to balance out some of my other choices.

Now I figure I need some comedy. I listen to hours of satellite radio and it is 90% the comedy channels. I have my favorites and Bill Cosby, Steven Wright, Bob Hope, Carrot Top...NO FREAKING WAY, just kidding about Carrot Top... so many greats ones. But I think this will be a surprise, gotta go with the Late Great Bernie Mac. Left us way too soon and maybe that is why he is on this list. If I could bring him back for one more show then I would do it. His comedy was good for all ages, sometimes not PG but he could do the PG stuff or take it to that dark dirty corner that only consenting adults go into. He was a great actor and took care of his family. Plus I could never pull it off but he had style and could rock some crazy suits. Truly a King of Comedy.

Well to be fair that is ten. But when I was driving I was not taking notes - well at least not after I swerved across the median and into the oncoming lane the third time. After that I had to keep it in my head and I had a few more invites to send out-

Bob Ross. You know him, if you are my age or older you had to be turning the TV channel knob and catch his show on some random Sunday or Saturday Morning. Maybe you were just a little hung over or coming down from a Fruit Loop sugar high rush (depending on your age at the time ... or maybe not) and it was either watching Bob paint or Bill Dance catch bass. I admit it was usually a coin flip, but looking back I realize Bob's cadence when he spoke and the way he injected adjectives into what he was paining i.e. "just going to put a little happy tree here, ohhh yeah I see it now, just sitting there in his happy meadow with some jolly birds here in the corner, just a swipe of the brush will do it, maybe a few more over here with another happy tree..." There were a number of weekend mornings in the 90s that Bob saved me from jumping out into traffic to get rid of a beer soaked headache. I only wish I learned to paint while at it. Bob is another one who the world is not as nice without him.

Britney Spears. Well if everyone I knew read these posts then there is about  25 people who just yelled - OK NOW YOU"VE WENT TOO FAR..." and at the same time they were secretly thinking - "Yeah that is the guy I know". I think she is hot, can dance, can sing, and well I still celebrate every December 2nd (her birthday) hoping one day she will notice me following her and let me get close enough to smell her hair.

Angelina Jollie and if we HAVE to then her husband that one guy...what is his name? ...Brad Pitt, yeah he can come too - I guess. Look I like Angelina Jolie, she does good for a lot of causes and doesn't just shoot a 30 second commercial every few years. She goes to some hell holes and brings attention to organizations helping in 3rd world countries. Yeah her and Brad are a little granola but who cares, it's my party and I'll invite her. Oh and she is sitting on one side while Britney is on my other side. And to be fair, if I looked like Brad I'd have went after her too.

Jim Henson. Politics aside, I wanted to be a puppet master when I was younger. I did not really pursue it but it was hard maybe to consider something so abstract when we lived in small communities overseas in the dark ages before the internet and other resources. But I did have a few puppets mom and dad let me buy as a kid and I remember putting together a few puppet shows for the kids in the neighborhood. Unfortunately it never grew beyond a few hand puppets. But if you consider what Jim Henson did with his imagination and creations. He created the whole worlds and his puppets have been seen by billions of people. If he accepted the invitation I would only hope he would bring Animal, Gonzo and Fozzie the Bear along with him.

... I just realized I forgot the others, most importantly Bob Newhart and Stan Lee. Both have brought so much to the world. Mr. Newhart's comedy is spot on an he is the most humble person in the public spot light (search for his Emmy acceptance speech from 2013). And of course Mr. Excelsior himself Stan Lee. Creator of the Marvel Universe. I think Bill Nye was one, and I mentioned him earlier, but Ben Burtt who did the sound design on the original Star Wars Trilogy and edited the prequals was another. Both are at the top of their fields and have had some influence on me and my interests. I am sure I was thinking of adding Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, and Lynn Swann on there but I still hold a grudge against the current Steelers so would probably would just invite Franco since he saw the light and played for Seattle at the end of his career.

As with any list I am sure I forgot someone I had on my mental list in the car. I have a feeling I am forgetting someone I really want on there but I will hit them next time.