10 Concerts

The 10 concerts, performances, performers, musicians, acts, groups…(whatever) I want to see before I die (or before they do, whichever comes first).

My Buddy Ozzy Summer 2013

Parameters for this up front, not that it matters since the three people that read this won’t call me on it if I refuse to put rules on my own rambling, however without some rules cats and dogs may start living together (Dr. Peter Venkman – Ghostbuster).  So, just for giggles, I will limit the list to those that I have not yet already seen (so Ozzy, Alice Cooper, Kiss, Lita Ford… are all of the list) and I am keeping it within the realm of possibility of groups or people that still can be seen. In other words I will not pick the obvious like Mozart since he died like 900 years ago.  I think we can agree that even the most ardent honkey tonk lover would take a shot at seeing "el Amadeus" live just to for the bragging rights and the t-shirt.  So, to review historical greats are off the list. Also I will not pick the extreme situations like a choir of angels.  Just saying that I feel I have to put that out there, so that the very slim chance some self righteous ass comes along and reads this rant some 30 years from now and then comments some effed up sanctimonious crap about me NOT putting choir of angles and I am on my death bed and reading that (future) comment is what sends me over the edge into the abyss of the afterlife and into Vahalla…wait what?  I got off on a rant there…  So, yeah – the list

1.  Dio. Yep Ronnie James Dio.  Oh wait?!?!?!?  You are saying I just broke one of my rules (actually my only real rule) right out of the gate.  Yes Dio did die.  Actually the anniversary of the death of Dio and the recent release of a tribute album is what really got me thinking about this list.  I have always had a few “must see” groups but I never really had a chance to see Dio (hostly bad timing) and for that fact and the fact he was the front man for Sabbath (that BLACK Sabbath to you, lets not get too informal here) the Godfather of Metal has to be on this list.  Ok so now here we go… on with the rest of the list in no particular order

2.   AC/DC.  Almost anytime an AC/DC song kicks off in my car I turn up the volume to speaker shattering levels and go along with the parts of the song I know, and I just wail for the parts I have forgotten.  With the recent scare of the stroke of founder Malcolm Young and the rumors that the band may quit for good, these guys have a reserved hard spot on my list.  The word is that they are recording in Vancouver this summer and touring this fall, most likely without Malcolm and that sucks but the group has been through it all before with the loss of Bon Scott in 1980.  Australian groups come out heavy on this list but AC/DC is and will be the first on my list of must see groups.  Hopefully, I will be front and center at one of their concerts before the year's end. And until then FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK…..

3.  Ratt.  Hells yeah buddy!!!  I LOVE Ratt.  They had me when I first heard "Round and Round" back in the 80s with Stephen Pearcy’s vocals, Bobby Blotzer beating those skins and Robbin Crosby and Warren DeMartini on guitar.  They have had a few lineup changes over the years and unfortunately the last info I have is Stephen Pearcy is out again. I guess Crosby was out a while back.  Recently – like just a week or so ago,  I had heard they were recording and going to tour, if so break out the stone washed jeans, hair goop, and jean jacket baby!!!  And as if there has to be any more justification there have been few covers that could stoke the imagination of a pre-teen boy like Invasion of YourPrivacy.

4. Scorpions.  For those that know me, know I love many things German:  BMWs, German Shepherds, Bratwurst, Hefeweizen, Jaeger Snitzel, and some of the best rock bands ever.  The first concert I went to was Ozzy, but he was headlined by U.D.O, and that guy rocks!!! I can really rock out to some Rammstein (Du Hast anyone?), I even have some love for Xavier Nadoo,  if you like that R&;B sound and but don’t mind it is not in English he is worth a listen.  But the Scorps are the tops for me.  I still remember flying missions out of Panama a few years after I had been stationed there.  And we would sometimes hit the Popeyes chicken place on base.  There was one of those video jukeboxes in the corner that thankfully was not updated all that often.  The Scorpions “Winds of Change” was on that machine and I played it each and every time we went in.  Gotta realize that was like an anthem to me, living in Germany just as East was shedding the commie masters and breaking down that iron curtain.  That song epitomizes the early 90s better than any other in my opinion. So my goal is to be one of the yahoos in the crowd swaying left and right with a lighter in my hand when they rock out to that song.

5.  RebaMcEntire.  I crap you not.  She is on this list.  One, she is HOT (still). Two, with hits like “Fancy” and “Does He Love You” and going strong for 40 years or so. She has suffered devastation like losing half her band in a plane crash and succeeded in music, film, and TV.  I will foreshadow some of the choices I have coming ahead by saying if Reba is shocking then you might want to stop here.

6. Men At Work.  Love these guys. One of the few groups I can actually sing most of their songs without getting lost or forgetting the words.  I don’t even know if they are still touring but I haven’t seen a new album (CD, MP3, ITunes digital cut???) in a while. If I am having a bad day just setting my playlist to “Business as Usual” and after “Who Can it be Now?” and “Down Under” the day is just better.  It is hard to believe it has been over 30 years (released in 1981) that I was listening to these tracks on 96 Rock (96.5 on the FM dail…) with DJ ScotThrower in the A.M. and Lee Reynolds on the afternoon drive time slot thinking that the world was ahead of me as I played with my Star Wars toys during the day and sneak a look at late night TV on HBO or CINEMAX. Sorry I digress, good times.

7.  BritneySpears.  Effyeahman!!! I love this chick.  I don’t care how crazy people think she is.  I remember the day I first saw her CD sitting on the shelf at that small PX (military store on base for you civilians) on top the hill at the Defense Language School in Monterey California.  I was there to get some chips and dip or shoe shine crap or maybe a notebook and pencils – who knows does it really matter? Ok just pretend I was buying some Mexican Boxed Wine and some Sudafed. I came around the corner of an aisle and there she was, I want to say one of her songs was playing on the sound system being pumped through the store, maybe not but I took a look and said to myself – Dude that chick is a flash in the pan, one hit wonder, not metal or old school rap so not worth the $5.  (can you believe that CDs ever cost $5?  Me neither) so left the store.  By the time she released her second CD I was hooked.  Comeoneman take a look at anyone of her videos. But to hold back the horde of haters- I actually like her music so SUCK IT.

8.  I am not going to lie, I thought I was not going to get to 10 but as I started this ramble I realized there were a few I had forgotten.  So before I finish out here are my honorable mentions.  Kenny Rodgers.  I used to play marbles as a kid singing “TheGambler in my head”, The dude is a legend and if you got doubt about his depth, check out “The Last 10 Years”. Glen Campbell.  Yeppers.  I don’t know why, I don’t even remotely know why…but for SOME reason one of my all time FAV songs is Rhinestone Cowboy.  One of the few memories I have as a kid, I mean real lil kid, like pre-5 or 6, was hearing that song on a ol hi-fi stereo that was sitting in the living room we lived in when I was maybe 4 or close to 5. Something good must have happened when I was very young while that song was playing in the background so for that reason I will forever be a fan of Glen, even though I don’t think I could name another song he does.  Rick Springfield.  Same deal as with the Campbellator, I love Jessie’s Girl.  No I did not ever have a thing for a girl that was dating anyone I knew named Jessie.  Actually off the top of my head I can only recall every knowing only one Jessie and that was in like 3^rd grade and he was a little bit of a chubby dude at the time so not sure if he had a girlfriend.  But thinking back to that year, if for some reason he was dating a girl named Amy Ferari (not sure of the spelling there) then maybe that song fits.  I don’t really think I was noticing girls since they didn’t play Army, Hot wheels, Star Wars, GI Joe, or ride bikes in the mud but for some reason I do remember noticing Amy.  Where are you now days Amy? Last Honorable mention, Joe Walsh.  Love that song “Life’s Been Good To Me” that was my Rota, Spain song. The bar I hung out played it once a night and if they forget I would remind them.  Just reminds me of some great times. So even though I have others on this list those four songs somehow top out on my all time favorite list so the performers that do them get a nod here.

9. Run DMC.  Actually I would love to see the whole cast of Krush Groove on stage.  DMC, Beastie Boys, Kurtis Blow,  Sheila E, the Fat Boys…. But DMC put rap on the map in my opinion.  Even their lesser known hits like Wake Up take me back to days of trying to do the wave, moon walk, pop and lock… but of course I looked more like I was having a seizure.

….and10. Duran Duran. 

How I met their mother and wasted nine years

Ok so I didn’t really waste nine years. Actually I don’t remember when I started watching the show “How I Met Your Mother” but I am sure it wasn’t until around season 3 or 4. Maybe even later when it stared airing on reruns in syndication in 2008. Either way I was only invested in the show once I learned there was an end planned in the near future and I realized how funny Neil Patrick Harris (NPH) was on this show.  I mean COMEON he was great in the Harold and Kumar movies but getting to see a true role model on TV each week was awesome. I am still looking for that life sized Storm Trooper he had in his apartment. But I digress…

So as the ending was becoming more obvious over the last few seasons I started watching semi-regularly, then after about two episodes I realized how much I hated the main character, even though I knew the ending centered on the Ted character finding the love of his life and growing old and having kids, I secretly wished he was going to get run over by a bus or a piano drop on him once he met “the one”, that was the ending I wished for every time I saw a shooting star.

Inside jokes and running gags aside the show at least had four out of five lovable characters and there was the hook on who would Ted end up with. The ending of this show (SPOILERS) was the biggest let down in my TV watching since they cancelled House and Lie to Me within the same year.

The ninth and final season started out and each following episode built upon the wedding weekend of two of the main cast – Barney and Robin. Eventually Ted’s future wife is introduced and it is clear early on she is the one, now all we have to do is see Ted meet her and we are done. After a few flash backs, flash forwards, and some loose ends involving a line of past part time characters that have come and gone over the past near decade, we get to the end. BUT WTF!!???Q?Q?Q??Q?Q

Somewhere at the end we find out that in the longest running story of “how we met” Ted finally finishes telling the kids how he met their mother, and BAM we are told that she already died. Meeting her took nine years, in two minutes he had two kids, a decade went by, she died, and another number of years passed. Now all of a sudden his kids are saying “Dad obviously you are telling us that story because you have the hots for Robin – oh yeah somewhere along the last 30 minutes or so of the last episode there was a weird left turn where after Barney and Robin got married (the whole premise for the entire ninth season ) they divorce and Robin goes off to live her life jet setting from reporting assignment to assignment and the rest of the gang just moves forward same as before (except Ted is now married and popping out kids, then watching his wife die).

Somewhere in that last episode I actually started liking Ted for just a second – his story was finally ending and all the pompous grandstanding whiny sad puppy dog goody goody aww shucks BS he spewed for nine seasons was finally at least coming to an end and a happy one, then the writers of the show go and kill off the one thing that was good and associated with the Ted character and that was his future/past wife. Then in a whirlwind last two or three minutes Ted rushes off to profess his love for Robin, the same chick by the way he dated back in season one or two and again in three or four and pined over back in seasons five through nine until finally letting go and meeting the one.  Wheeew let me catch my breath.

Ok that is it, apparently there is an alternate version to the ending and it will be on the DVD, however I can saw I wouldn’t buy that crap. I think alternate endings are great when you actually try to do it right the first time. However I may be boycotting all works written by the team that delivered that suck fest of a show.

So if by chance this blog lasts the eugenics war and the rise of the machines and humanity has a rebirth and one of you finds an archive of old shows. If “How I Met Your Mother” is one of them, go ahead and watch it but you’d be better off watching Gilligan’s Island, - at least you don’t get sold on a happy ending.

Generation -" Y" don't you go Eff yourself

Wow haven’t done this in awhile. Not for lack of desire, but mostly I have a dog I can rant too now so I do not need this outlet. I also spend 45 hours a week give or take 14 minutes, sitting staring at a computer screen while the voice in my head screams DRONE DRONE DRONE – DO MY BIDDING… Then I spend 45 minutes to an hour each way in traffic hell. Yeah yeah wherever you live is worse….sure I agree, my opinion is that wherever I am is the worst traffic in the world and I am sure if I were honest with myself I would admit there are far worse places than being behind M**&*ER F(*&#&g “My student is a student of the freakin millennium of Studebaker Middle school” stick family, George Mason Alumni, License plate FRQ 1234 (made up to protect the idio….I mean innocent)….where was I? Oh my chest hurts even just reliving the traffic in my head. All I know is my life is going to be a lot shorter unless I find another commute or a job on a beach somewhere (preferably both).

So why oh why did I come here today? Ah yes. I am on a number of private group Facebook pages and usually I blow off much of what is said or I agree and share some of the funny stuff. But today I was reading a post from a guy who is..lets say – in the Navy (as a random profession) and he is- lets say a senior enlisted guy as a random thing to be. He was venting about how todays generation of Sailors (and kind of by association the entire current generation) is an “entitled” generations. I am not immune on thinking that some – or many – that have come behind me have had it easier. It is after all a different world. I mean take the iPhone alone. If I had that when I was 20 and working all over the world, I could have packed a lot less crap. I would have loved to carry something to read, my favorite 23,859 songs, a way to keep in touch with friends and family at any time, and access to the internet (which did not exist for the public when I was 20 so it would have been REALLY amazing to have that). I mean COMON!!! How nice is it to be able to google “is Kim Kardashian’s ass real or fake, or how long can a Narwhal whale submerge before needing to come up for air, or best denture cream – whenever you want, even at 2:35 in the morning on a Tuesday. So yeah today’s kids have it easy.

Ah but here is the catch. It hit me. A kid who was lets say in 7^th grade in the Fall of 2001 is what? About 25 or 26 now? So some kid who was still trying to figure out how to talk to girls, probably still had more GI Joe posters in his room than pics from his older sisters Vic Secret catalog or the SI Swimsuit edition, goes to school one day and if he was anywhere but maybe Lancaster PA, his teacher turned on the TV and he watched his world change on a nice warm sunny Tuesday morning.

Where is 25 year old Dane or Danielle? What if that kid is now in the Army or even Navy? His or her whole life we have been at war. Sure it is not an every day thing on the news and to be honest I don’t think it needs to be. I don’t think we have to be reminded every day at 5:30 news by Peter Jennings or Lying Dan Rather on losses or gains or political infighting on who is to blame….and to be honest if you are reading this and realize “hey I have not heard much on the war in a while”. Well let me tell you – March was the FIRST month since it all began that there were no casualties. Second there are elections scheduled for both Iraq and Afghanistan in the coming weeks and months. Who did that? Well sure some old Generals and maybe an Admiral or two with some politicians maybe, but the back breaking work, the hard crap – was done by 18-29 year olds for over a decade. It was the washed up folks who already had their families started and who had stared saving for the future, had a mortgage ect.. who had already had their years of slipping into  strip clubs that were off limits, or doing keg stands, or waking up in a strange room, town, or county and not really remembering how they got there. See it was the people who had the fun that were making the decisions robbing those who were missing out on their time “that generation”.

It is true this only applies to a very small part of the population. WAIT stop there!!!! Lets use another example, what about that same 25 year old. During that spoiled me me me childhood, he or she may have had to move because mom and dad lost their home, or had to do with out because mom got laid off from the auto plant and dad lost his job as a hair dresser. Not saying that others have not had their challenges and hard times just that you should walk a mile in that other persons moccasins.

Ok I am done for now.  Here is Mort on what to expect on tomorrows commute.

Affirmative action on The Biggest Looser

There is a game of sorts that old school Navy folks played as part of their training when the advanced to senior enlisted ranks. They are assigned what is called an egg division. A division being a group of Sailors that would be assigned under this senior Sailor. Some divisions could be as big as 50 or more and others small with 5 or 6 people. The Sailor in training is given a dozen eggs (or some other item like a 12 GI Joe figures, or rocks anything really) but the name "egg division" is widely understood. So the idea is to have the Sailor undergoing training come up with an appropriate division, they have to create records for each of their "Eggs" having the appropriate number of males, females, black, white, asian, junior, and senior ranks ect. There is a purpose to get the Sailor thinking about the wide range of backgrounds his (or her) Sailors will have when he (or she) becomes their boss. While constructing these "egg divisions" creativity is reward, but the important thing is to have the proper make up, having the right percentage of females, males, etc… of course to take it to the extreme you might have someone that will have a black-jewish-female-with a handicap to cover down on at least multiple minority groups. So today while walking the dog I was somehow reminded of that exercise when something hit me.

A couple of weeks ago Bob, one of the trainers on The Biggest Looser "came out" - if you will - on TV. Of course it was no secret that Bob was either gay, or at least was allergic to women parts. But having Bob come out officially now puts two of the three trainers in the gay column or three of the four permanent cast members (when you count Alison Sweeny which I ALWAYS do). So what is the make up of the cast without sexual affiliation? 50% of the permanent cast is female (the other 50% would then be male for those counting at home), this matches the same percentage of the population, and Dolvett the third trainer is black, (the other three are white so 25% of the staff is so called minority) - no asians or hispanics, you kind of have a fair makeup of the country as a whole, since about 15% of the population is black another 10-12% is hispanic and so on… I can sympathize with certain minority groups that have made the observation in the past that when they watch TV they do not see themselves represented. I do not think that case can be made today. Most TV and an increasingly amount of movies are casting to make the population of the shows (or movies) look like real life America. But what has me wondering, can the straight people now complain that when they watch The Biggest Loser they do not see themselves reflected?  Since there is no way 50% of the people in this country are gay. Does the Biggest Looser need to fire one of the gay trainers and replace with an hispanic straight trainer?

I am not really suggesting that any protests or personnel changes be actually planned. I don't care about Bob or Jullian's sexuality and other than the fact I am disappointed that Julian is not on the market for straight males - like I would have had a chance; I am really indifferent to who or what they run around the house with during naked wednesdays.

Here is my internal drama. A few times in the last couple of weeks I have had friends on Facebook post some LBGT (or other similar groups) links about gay friendly companies or gay not friendly companies or whatever. I keep seeing Chick Fil A is the devil and everyone of them should be burned down, or other companies should be banned since they do not offer vacation to people that want time off to marry their cats or something. This is where I get really pissed off in my head. I enjoy George Takai's daily Facebook posts that make me laugh or think about interesting things. I know who he is because he was on Star Trek, but respect him for his work on recognizing and educating about the Japanese that were interned during WWII and is passionate about his other causes. One of those causes happens to be related to LBGT communities and that is cool, I don't partake but love that he is using his celebrity and fame to do good things for a lot of people. I also respect and enjoy some conservative leaders and organizations who will continue to advocate for family values which they feel means being straight. I don't really give a steaming pile on either side of the fight but when someone actually goes out of the way to destroy a whole company or shut down a movie or golf course or whatever because one person at the top of a company has a personal opinion that does not meet their own. I do not have any plans on not laughing at Mr. Takei's posts on Facebook.

So Chick Fil A is evil and Starbucks is apparently good since they have pro-gay policies. Ironically a few days ago I stopped by both places within a couple hours of each other, then I came home and watched The Biggest Looser. Guess I am going to be stuck in purgatory for a long time no matter which side all of this God is on.