Ok lets get this started…

I promise, this started out much worse than it ends up being.

What has been a yearly ritual since the release of Star Wars; Episode VII; The Force Awakens  (TFA), a few non-fanatic, friends have asked me “so what do you think of the new Star Wars movie.”  That question has led to a vast variety of conversational rabbit holes (otherwise known as rants).  In the past, I would likely give a list of the pros and cons, and come out with a positive overall grade.  In the past, I never bashed any of the movies - worse case, I may agree with some negative aspect (i.e. bad dialog, too much CGI, to cookie cutter) but at least I was animated and excited about it all.  In the past, I had a lot to say.  The longer I had to digest it, the more analytical I could get.  This year, well… it has been difficult to give anything more than a shrug of the shoulders and a sigh, in response to the question.

Why?

Every new franchise release since 1999, I have remained relatively spoiler free, and I usually watched each new SW movie with an un-biased and open mind.  I usually spend the first viewing trying to notice things – just open eyes and taking it all in.  I scan the screen for Easter eggs, I pay attention to background, foreground, soundtrack queues, and I just try to sponge it all in.  I caught it all in TFA - the lack of Chewie/Leia hug, the switch back to the gold arm, the practice drone that Finn comes across- all on the first viewing.  While in sponge mode, my mind was too occupied to judge.  This is why I usually cannot/will not, form a solid opinion until I have sat through at least a second viewing. 

Going into The Last Jedi, I knew only a few things.  In the lead up, I avoided speculation to the point of avoiding podcasts, blogs, social media, and cast interviews.  What I knew - I heard rumor of Frank Oz possibly being involved however, I also heard that Hayden Christiansen also might have been called in - so 50/50.  Just from living on the internet, there were things one could not avoid.  I knew of a few of the filming locations – Dubrovnik, Dingle Peninsula, and Skellig Michael.  From these sites I saw a “few” pictures involving production, so when the Canto Bight location was mentioned I kind’ov had an idea from the pics from Dubrovnik.  I also was tracking, but not obsessively on cast announcements.  I knew about Benicio del Toro and Laura Dern, but nothing about their roles and no preconceived notion on how they should be worked into the story.  I did patiently wait for the Billy Dee announcement, and still am… All this is to set up the situation in which I was going into TLJ, fresh, unsuspecting, and with only a few questions that carried over from TFA.

What?

Talking with others, I learned that I missed a few of those kind of Easter eggs that I usually notice.  Was I distracted?  Was it because the story was hard to follow (or hard to swallow)?

Answers or more questions?

I only got really excited three times – the moments right before Snoke’s death - I saw it coming but it was still pretty cool, the not quite so announcement of Rey’s lineage, – and, when I thought Luke was going to go all Frank Castle (with a green lightsaber) on Kylo… yet each of those times, after a good amount of buildup, after moving to the edge of my seat, talking a deep breath in…and each time ending in what? -Disappointment? I feel so “blah” about this movie that I am not sure that might not be too strong a word. 

I feel like Rian Johnson took the top fan questions that came out of TFA and purposely tried to give the fandom the most unsatisfying answer to each – on purpose.  The answer to Rey’s parents was almost like RJ took a stick and poked it at the audience, saying – FU, all that time speculating and it was all a waste of time for you to even care.  The same with the question of where Snoke came from.  I was good with how he was killed off, but some of the biggest and wackiest theories from TFA surrounded the speculation on who Snoke really was.  Did it matter?  No, and I am no fan of much of the speculation but, these answers, along with Luke never really having that one great battle left me feeling empty inside.  

Tearless despite wanting to ball like an infant.

The one area I expected to well up and drop some tears, was each time Leia was on screen.  At every turn, I was waiting on how the real world was going to affect the Galaxy Far Far Away.  How was RJ going to “write” Carrie Fisher out of the movie?  Early on, where Leia is blown out of the ship into space, I almost got up and walked out.  I thought for a brief moment that was going to be it.  Thankfully, it was not - but for me, the alternative was not much better.  To be fair, I am not sure anyone could get it right, maybe in this instance, the bar is set to high.  For me, the biggest thing hanging over Episode IX is going to be how they answer the Leia question.  It might be just a casual line about Leia passing or maybe something in the crawl.  Right now, I am just left feeling less than enthusiastic with how Han was killed off then how Luke just does a Copperfield impersonation and just…”pop”…disappears.  How they “kill off” the last of the main three is going to be a make or break for many OT fans.  Either way, I got more emotional over the CGI Leia in Rogue One than anything Leia related in TLJ, despite my willingness to be overwhelmed by how they gave Leia a final sendoff.  I will say, it was proper and great that the film was dedicated to her.  Seeing that in the end credits was about the only emotional part of the entire movie for me.

Speaking of death counts.

Whom didn’t RJ kill off?  Akbar was killed off by some random reference to being sucked out into space.  Then a new character is introduced.  Admiral Hodo or whatever.  Why couldn’t Akbar just fill her role in the movie?  I would have loved seeing him go kamikaze on the First Order fleet at the end.  He could have went out yelling – “Trap THIS MF’er..” Another wasted opportunity was Finn.  I get the whole arc where Poe learns his lesson about making the hard calls and knowing when to pull back to conserve your forces.  But despite Poe calling Finn back when he is making his suicide run on the First Order door buster, he is ignored.  It looks like Finn is going to finally do something other than try to mac on Rey, something that will benefit the cause.  Ahhh … but he is DENIED.  Actually we are all denied.  Him destroying that weapon and giving the Resistance a few more minutes would have been a high point, but that was just another “meh” moment.  Even so, RJ is pretty bloodthirsty.  He offs almost every character we know from the OT, even if only with a passing reference, he also kills off half of JJs additions (Phasma, Snoke) and one of his own (Admiral Hodo) and a couple of bbq porgs. Also, not really under the category of deaths, but more like fading away.  How much screen time did Chewie, R2, and C3PO get?  All combined, it might have been less than Luke’s total from the TFA.

Fan Service.

So in contrast to RJs blatant jab at the speculating set of fans that devoted the last two years to figure out the puzzle JJ left us, he seemed to offer some fan service to a few issues from TFA.

• Chewie got his hug from Leia.  
• Phasma got a “good death”, then again new theories already have surfaced on how she will get her version of climbing out of the Sarlacc and somehow survive
• Finn gets to use the - so we get a different version of the baton fight we got in TFA, while finding a way to sell another toy. 
• RJ gives an unnecessary Maz cameo, thus keeping the diversity ratio a little more even
• Even though not a direct answer to anything in TFA, RJ knows who pays the bills, so created enough Porg-straction (gratuitous porg shots) to ensure continued licensee sales.  Honestly, every time we see a “hero porg” shot, it took me out of the film.  I don’t hate them, and think putting them in to cover up the puffins that might have been caught in the background during principal photography makes sense.  Just not a fan of the silliness for the sake of drawing out a laugh.
• Another BB-8.  A black one.  Was this some kind of inside joke to answer all the cries about diversification or was it just placement to eventually sell more toys? But with all of three and a half seconds of screen time, is this the next Boba Fett?  
• Yoda makes an appearance.  I was good with this, but being a SW fan and never being satisfied, my mind immediately went to “ ok- but where was Ben or Anakin?”

So I finish this off a week and a couple days after I saw it opening day.  I still have not been back.  I had two other tickets on Fandango and cancelled them both.  One was so I could take the dog for a long walk, the other, so I could sleep in.  Maybe that answers what I thought about it more than anything else.  I did my part, saw it once, bought some of the merchandise and the soundtrack but maybe TLJ has moved me from being a “fanatic” to just an enthusiastic fan.  

Time will tell…

Two personal fandoms

Two personal fandoms of mine are colliding right now and in the most particular way.  And both are being saturated with Bandwagon fandom ™ drama. 

The two fandoms I am talking about are Star Wars and the Seattle Seahawks.

In a social media group I am part of and monitor the backlash against so called football bandwagon fandoms has been ongoing but since the Seattle victory in last year’s Super bowl the accusations of anyone claiming to be a number 12 faces a two front barrage.  One against the term/title of #12 (a whole nother story) and the accusation that they must be a new fan.  Criteria like knowing Shaun Alexander or that Warren Moon played for the Hawks are levied as minimum knowledge, which in itself might show how the accusers are themselves bandwagon fans that just happened to jump on the trolley a few years early to get good seats. 

Not sure of the year, but maybe the Christmas when I was in third grade was the best year I had for hitting the mother lode from Santa – I do think that was the year the other shoe dropped for me on that subject so maybe that was why the loot seemed so much more satisfying.  Not that I am poo-poo’ing any gift, I just mean as far as setting the bar high, “Santa” as well as all my relatives all hit a home run.  I got Seahawks loot like caps, and a Seahawk alarm clock (that old clangity clang kind of one) and some other football propaganda.  I was also a fan of Terry Bradshaw (and Lynn Swan and Franco Harris for that matter) so got a repo-autographed football from Bradshaw.  The crown jewel was the mutha’freakin Millennium Falcon!!!  Yeah still have that in an undisclosed basement – by far my most favorite toy in all my years of toydom. 

I had other Star Wars stuff before that and remember clearly the day I was surprised with the Death Star playset and my first figures (thanks Dad – I think he was trying to get on my good side…well that would do it).  However, that year with the Seahawks SWAG and the ship that made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs was when these two fandoms first collided.

Just like the dark years of the Hawks – pretty much every year until their first Super bowl appearance in 2006 Star Wars had a dark period.  Although I don’t quite recognize it as such, since due to the constant moving and living overseas I was more out of touch for both football as well as Star Wars until the mid 90s.  However, some claim the post RTOJ era until Timothy Zahn led the fandom out of the dark in 1992 was the dark period of Star Wars.

Let me explain the last part before the first part – because that makes sense in Gallo-land the world of Gallologic.  Star Wars had a Marvel Comics adaption that ran 1977 – 1986 when issue #108 ended it all. (side note as of this month they ARE BACK - check out Star Wars #1) It was not until Dark Horse revived the fanchise in 1991.  But many agree it was Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire published in the summer of 1992 that awaked the Star Wars beast.  It was for me at least.  By the mid 90s George Lucas (GL) was working on the special editions for the original three movies, A New Hope was released on January 31, 1997, followed by The Empire Strikes Back on February 21, 1997, and Return of the Jedi on March 14, 1997.  After the success of the re-release, 20 years after the original run of Star Wars, the prequels were fast tracked.  From the prequels, conventions were stood up, new toys, new tie-ins (Taco Bell Cup Toppers anyone?), and eventually a Cartoon Series. 

So the Hawks had some good years but COMEON… since 1976 only nine division championships, two Super bowl appearances (only one victorious) and all of this except the two AFC West championships were 2004 and later.  The exceptions being 1988 and 1999 when the Hawks took the AFC championship advancing no further.  After moving to the NFC they held the West title seven times.  So for years it took what I would call gimmicks (Brian Bosworth anyone?) or trying to cherry pick a rookie QB that they could develop only to suffer with years of watching mediocre talent that created apologists of the entire fandom (rick freakin mirer) .  So finally we get some good years and there is this overbearing cloud of most Hawks fans are bandwagon fans.  Where were you when Alexander was grinding out the yardage? Or who is Tez? – crap I went all the way to the HOF for Tez and followed up this year by making a return trip to see Walter Jones get the bronze bust.  Sorry I make no apologies for missing out on Largent’s induction I was a little busy keeping our country free of evil doers…

So I don’t feel any need to justify my 12^th man flag nor my cap that just came in the mail today celebrating the Seahawks position as NFC Champs, however it is ironic and funny I find myself on the other side of the debate concerning my other fandom.

To be a Star Wars nerd back in the 80s was sometimes dangerous, and it elicited strange looks in the 90s then after the prequels it could incite an argument depending on your opinions of the prequels, GL, Jar Jar ect… Even today there are too many actual hard core fans that shoot from the hip when it comes to hating the special editions or the prequels.  IF not for the special editions the transition from the prequels to the original three or original trilogy (OT) would be far more jarring than it already is.  Filmmaking had come along way from 1977 to 1999.  Sure there were some boring parts but for those that waited 16 years we actually wanted some explanation.  Crap, in our imaginations the clone wars, the origin of Boba Fett and the role of the Jedi order had already played out in thousands of variations.  Each fan boy (and girl) was a treasure trove of ideas of what the SW universe would look like sound like and be populated with well beyond anything the prequels could have covered.  So in a way we are lucky each movie was not eight hours long and full of exposition in order to explain everything we wanted to know.  In any case no matter how awesome or disappointing I was there.  I was there in  the years (years I may add that we had zero internet) that we might be lucky to hear the phrase “Star Wars” said in public and not mean President Reagan’s missile defense shield.  I was there and spent enough to finance a small country when the shelves bristled with new waves of action figures, comics, books, and tie-ins.  IF not for me and fans like me Star Wars may never have made a comeback.  I get no residuals, no kickbacks if the new trilogy and the stand-alone/spin-off movies make a crap load, my name is not in the credits, so where is my love?  I have to fight for a place in line along with all the other newcomers, or the ones who shunned Star Wars in the dark years.  I have to try to out bid for items on eBay with those whose only interest in the franchise (or fanchise for the matter) is grabbing as many exclusives from SDCC or other events as possible to resell after December 2015 when the brand explodes and make some big payoffs. 

So as it turns out I am not the Sherriff of the Star Wars fandom (if only I was….) and anyone calling me out about my Seahawks fandom is equally as unofficial in keeping fandom in check.  So what is the point of it all?

I have no freaking idea, just know that between the Super bowl in February and the SW convention in April and new release in December I am at the epicenter of the current demographic for marketing.  All that means is I need to win the lotto quick.

Dog needs a walk so rant over.

Lemme splain something to you about limited imaginations and discussing Star Wars

Lets talk about the limits on Star Wars and some people’s imaginations.

Ok here is the deal.  There are multiple dimensions of Star Wars (or any large film, comic, or book franchise for that matter).

First, we have the imagination of the creator George Lucas (GL). Along with what was in his alleged original notes and the storyboards by the likes of Joe Johnston, script versions, concept art of Ralph Mcquarrie and all the authors, artists, and effects artists that filled in the blanks between George’s ideas and gave life to the second dimension – most importantly the soundtrack of John Williams and effects of BenBurtt. 

All of the above is the Genesis of the second dimension, what we see on film (including the Clone Wars and new Rebels series). What we hear in the radio dramas and read in the novelizations. And, depending on how you feel about the recent Disney/Lucasfilm announcement all other forms (i.e. the around 80 books and two dozen or so comic series, the  expanded universe then you can either add or ignore the E.U., the role playing games, the most excellent Dark Horse comic run and the various video games that added background content in addition to the movie that was not a movie, the Shadows of the Empire.

Third we have the real world, the actual limitations of the universe we live in. When a Storm trooper hits hishead on a Death Star hatch (it’s a hatch if it is on a vessel and the Death Star is a vessel for all intents and purposes so take any arguments elsewhere)…as I was saying… when a Storm trooper hits his head on said hatch it is seen by the general bandwagon fan, casual audience, and amateur film critic as a mistake that was missed in editing or kept in because the producers could not afford another take. However, that same scene is seen by fanboy and fangirl as a wrinkle that needs to be given a backstory.  So that 30 years later that Stormtrooper is named Harry and has four kids and joined the Empire only to earn some extra money to support his wife’s Sabacc addiction, and the reason he just hit his head??? He got a call earlier that day from his wife, he has another kid on the way, so he was a little out of sorts when charging into that control room and did not notice the door so cut the guys some slack and “move along…move along…”

Ok so those are your three dimensions of the SW universe. Why do I feel the need to break this down? Well I have been catching a lot of evidence of limited imaginations in the SW fan universe.

First back in the late spring (on our world) we discovered that SW had moved its production to Abu Dhabi. Not the tourist destination of choice so there must have been a reason. First assumptions by everyone was that it must be a fill in for Tatoonine. Just because it has desert. I can list the reasons that not only is limited thinking but also pretty stupid to assume since there are reasons that can be pulled from each of the three SW dimensions…so I will…

1.                    There are thousands or millions of planets in the SW universe, why assume Tatooine

2.                    The deserts of Yuma AZ filled in for Tatooine for RTOJ during the Jabba Skiff scene why involve the extra cost of security and travel to film in Abu Dhabi when AZ is sitting there all bored and ready to go?

3.                    Real world reason to not go to Tunisia where Tatooine was filmed for SW, TPM, and ATC was due to a less than ideal security situation however there are other parts of the same desert (in other words more like the desert used for Tatooine in the other movies) nearby such as in Morocco or even safer parts of Egypt.

4.                    Why do we have to return to Tatooine in the first place? Sure there are possible story lines that take us there looking for old Luke Skywalker or maybe a return there looking for an artifact Obi Wan left or some other reason. However again, with all the talent that have written hundreds of E.U. stories, why limit us to a planet that has been in nearly all the existing movies?

The limited imagination of some of the podcasters and bloggers “is killing me softly” (to quote Alicia Keys…is she not the HOTTEST chick ever???). It is now spreading to some more leaked photos we have seen online.

(SPOILER ALERT) so there have been shots of the Millennium Falcon and some possible X-Wing variations from an outdoor set in England. The issue here is there has been great discussion on the variations on the paint scheme and some what appears to be spare parts laying around the lot.  Here we have some huge assumptions and a problem with the fan need to speculate about EVERYTHING… Real world – the spare parts may be simply parts for the equipment (like cranes or what have you) used in the production. Or maybe it was some junk left over from previous uses. Or maybe it is part of the set, however just because it looks like a podracer engine does not mean there are podracers there. Think for a minute that the podracers were modified from something else, so if podracers use engines originally designed for other uses (like small space ships…) then it would stand to reason you would see them in a hanger area for X-wings. Oh and the X-wings are not necessarily the same models – 30 years have gone by, so there have had to be modifications in the same scope and range that you see from the Republic star fighters to the X-wing and so on. It is convenient that 30 years has passed in the SW dimension was well as real world so use that knowledge to base your “guesses” and make them educated.

If anyone has gotten this far then you have to be a fan, no one else would have read this much gibberish. Congrats and I hope to see you on 18 December 2015!

A Perfect Day of Television

My last post was inspired from a internal rant I had going in my head from the night before that then was reminded of it by a friend who posted on FaceBook about Joss Whedon.  The thing that got me going was great shows on SCIFI uhhh I mean Syfy (whatever that is supposed to be…) get cancelled just as they are becoming fan favorites, almost like that channel is the biggest “you know what” tease in your high school.  Further more great shows by geniusus like the aforementioned Mr. Whedon like Dollhouse and Firefly get cancelled long before they are able to become modern day classics.  This is nothing new, the original Star Trek was cancelled (twice), as was Arrested development and Jericho.  Many of these shows live on in comic books, graphic novels, and paperback but somehow the dollar driven T.V. industry fails to show patience and let some of these show run long enough to not only allow some fan satisfaction on seeing a good story play out over a number of years, but make them the profits they are expecting.  Shows do have a saturation point where they need to end, this is true, Cheers, M.A.S.H. ended with HUGE ratings because all the dedicated fans, and all the part-time fans tuned in to see the last seasons to see how it all wraps up.  Shows like The Office maybe went a season or two too long, but those last few episodes were magical.  Had it been cancelled in the first season or two that would have been lost to the wastebin of some corporate TV exec’s trashcan along with his used “tissues” and gin bottles. 

So, when I win the lotto, say a HUGE dollar amount, and I get the chance to run my own cable T.V. channel, with shows only.  No movies, no sports, and no news.  Not because I don’t like sports, news, or movies, quite the contrary, they just add a whole other element that I am not trying to rant about here.

Now you ask – “hey man what will be your schedule?”  well I will tell you.  Some of the shows I think the average Mercian T.V. junkie would love to just veg and watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon or whenever there is a soccer game on…

Some of these show should be 2-4 episodes in a row, some shows are just better when you can sit a do a mini-marathon, others might play only on weekends others on weekdays.  This won’t be a total breakdown hour by hour because some shows may play seasonal.  But when you tune into Gallo-tanment channel this is what you can expect to see.

A Perfect Day of Television

Early morning.  Grab your bowl of cereal and sit back in your PJs or Boxers and see: - Old School Cartoon hour (really about two hours but hey it’s a free day who’s watching the clock?).  Smurfs, He-Man, InspectorGadget, Bugs Bunny, and Super Friends.  Now who is ready for their day with a line up like that.  Hope those Coco puffs were good.

Later morning.  Get your game on.  Some of my earliest memories were at my grandmothers house destroying my uncles Hot Wheels or those 12 inch GI Joes while the Price is Right is on.  Any day sick from school was not complete with out a little “COME ON DOWN..JANE DOE…YOU ARE THE NEXT CONTESTENT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT…”.  After, the Showcase Showdown, which I am a firm believer I would kill on that game, is time for some of the best comedy ever to be transmitted over TV.  Gilligan’s Island, McHale’s Navy, The Andy Griffin Show, and finish with some great action of Gunsmoke or Bonanza.

Early afternoon.  So after lunch which should be a proper egg salad sandwich, chocolate milk and some pudding, we start watching some of the best of the 80s.  No rest for the sentimental funny bone we watch Wings, Cosby Show, Cheers and throw in an episode of Get Smart.

Rush hour.  While those fools that went to work today are stuck in traffic, we are watching the 90s Batman cartoon, and Disney’s Tale Spin.  And something that brings back memories of mom tinkering around in the kitchen making dinner while everyone was coming home, the original Star Trek should be playing just around 5 p.m every time I hear the opening soundtrack of the show I smell some kind of casserole or think of simple things like macaroni and cheese.

Prime time, or must see T.V. is full of a mix of great shows.  Start with The Office, Big Bang Theory, Dowton Abby, The IT Crowd for some more recent good times.  Then get some SCIFI in with Eureka and Warehouse 13, Firefly, and here I will save a place for Defiance, if it pans out to be as good as I hope it has a spot.

Later when it is dark and you can watch some more mature drama, we have Breaking Bad (shhh don’t tell us how it ends, we want to be surprised again), Sons Of Anarchy, Justified, The Americans, Hill Street Blues, and Baywatch (yes I am serious)

Late night there is no end to the fun.  Some of these shows are still airing in syndication or still going strong but for the insomniacs this is better than gold. Futurama, Archer, Arrested Development, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Late Late or OH CRAP ITS EARLY.  Back in the early 90s some of these shows were on at 2-3-4 in the morning.  Now it is all crap, infomercials and loud obnoxious adds. It is almost painful to leave your TV on when you fall asleep, because if you wake up during the crap they play now it is nightmare inducing.  I would put M.A.S.H, Twilight Zone, Miami Vice, and the X-Files on.  Maybe throw in some Airwolf, the Equalizer, and The Wire.

Rinse and Repeat.  Start the clock on another fine day of perfect T.V. with some 5 a.m. Sesame Street from back in the day when Mr. Hooper was still tending the store.

Tell me what I missed.